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Date: 10 December 2002
Title: Of Agents, Vampires and a Slayer.
Author: Das Jessy
Archive: Sure, but let me know.
Summar: Our favourite agents end up in Sunnydale.
Rating: PG-13
Category: MSR, Buffy crossover, B/S, humour
Disclaimer: MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sigh* Okay okay they belong to CC, 1013, FOX, Joss Whedon 
and Mutant Enemy.
Spoilers: Seasons 7. Yes,both series. And I know the time doesn't
fit but I don't care.(Was net passt wird passend gemacht                           
*schmoll*) After 'All Things' and around 'Him'
Feedback: Please. I always say I want feedback but never get it.
Mail to: And I know you won't *sigh*
Author's note: English isn't my first language, so...




Of Agents, Vampires and a Slayer


I'm totally pissed off. We're driving to a little town called Sunnydale in...California. Problem is, we are driving. From Washington D.C., to California. And why?! Because my great partner and soon to be ex-boyfriend heard something about vampires living in this town and a girl who slays them, therefore called, oh you can guess, the slayer. I think this is ridiculous but did that ever stop him?  Not that I know of and of course it hasn't this time, either. So I'm sitting in this damned car for I don't know how long and either I am going to combust or I'll make Mulder do it. But I'm not only pissed at Mulder, I'm as much pissed at myself because I let him drag me out because of one of his crazy ideas again.

"Scully?" "What?" "We'll be there soon." "Great, that's just great.", I sigh. "Look Scully, I know you didn't want to come here but I really, really am thankful that you came nevertheless." "You better be." "Oh come on Scully it might be fun." "Yes of course, hunting nonexistent vampires and slayers sounds fun to me." "Scully how can you not believe it? I mean we've seen vampires. Do I have to remind you of Sheriff Bug-Teeth?" "He didn't have bug-teeth. Nevermind, we actually don't know if he really was a vampire, I mean I didn't see him drinking blood or things like that." "You saw his eyes glowing." "Mulder, he gave me drugs I can't tell for sure what I saw." "Sculeeeee, don't do this. And give this vampire thing at least a chance after everything you've seen." "Oh no, you're not going to get all puppy-eyed and whiny on me.I'm here aren't I?!I don't have to believe the reason why we're here." "But maybe I'm right." "Yes of course, maybe you're right." With that I turn away from him, no need to get him whiny after all. "Scully, don't you dare roll your eyes." Oops, he just knows me too well. "I'm not." "The hell you're not." "Mulder?" "Hm?" "Why didn't we fly to Sunnydale?", -silence. He is looking away..."Oh no, Mulder, don't tell me this isn't even an X-File. You didn't drag me out on one of your wild goose chases, did you?...Oh, no Mulder, you did, you're such an asshole! I could be sitting at home reading or taking a bath!" "I didn't dump you at least." That comment was too much and he knows it and I'm so not gonna talk to him for the next 24 hours or so. At the motel we finally get out of the car and I've to say that I've seen motels that were much worse. "We'd like to have one room.", Mulder says. Oh so he think. "Two." "Sorry Ma'am?" "We'd like to have two rooms." The clerk looks a little annoyed, like I cared not that I do, but handles each of us a key. "It has a connecting door", he explains. "Great.", I say and walk away. Mulder follows, but I throw the door to my room into his face.

The room isn't bad at all, even the bathroom is clean and I don't have to worry that the tube is going to learn how to walk anytime soon because it grew legs out of some kind of fungus. I'm angry and tired so I'm just going to go to bed. But of course I can't sleep, I hear a TV running next door and know Mulder can't sleep, either. He always has trouble falling asleep without me. There's a knock at the connecting door, speak eh, think of the devil. "Come in." He opens the door a little and puts his head through the crack. "May I sleep here, please? And I'm so, so sorry.", he says looking like  a little boy. "C'mere." I pat the matress and he crawls in next to me. I kiss him and switch off the light. Within minutes he is asleep.




"Dawn! Xander is here." "Comin'." My sister comes running down the stairs, opens the door and runs out. "Are you coming Buffy? We're gonna be late." "No, really? I told you five minutes ago but you didn't seem very interested then.", I say and go after her. "Hey Xander." "Hey Buff. So what's up?"  "Xander, have you maybe lookd at your watch? What should be up at this time in the morning?" "Dawn?" "Well, there's this cute guy in my history lesson." "Please tell me he doesn't own a jacket with big letters on it." "Very funny Xander, very funny." "Xander? How is it going with Spike?" "Well, Buffy, he isn't exactly my best friend, but I've to say we're getting along, he's sort of civilized and doesn't get all crazy anymore." "I talked to Dawn about this yesterday and I'm not asking for your permission, I just want you to know, Willow knows, too." "What is it, Buffy, don't tell me ..." "Xander stop, let me talk. I'm going to ask Spike out on a date. I don't know what there was, what is between us but there are feelings, and we've never really dated. And now that he's all soul-ly and..." "Buffy, he tried to rape you!" "Yes he did. But that is none of your business really and he changed and is terribly sorry for it. I'll never forget it and he won't either. But neither am I gonna forget what I did and I won't forget the good things he did, either. Soul or no soul." "I know I can't change your mind on this, but be careful. I don't trust him, but even I can see that he still loves you very much."




"So Mulder, where are we gonna start?" " I thought about the library or something like this. I want to look if there are some books about this slayer stuff." "Well, what do you think about breakfast first?" "Hm, Agent Scully, not that bad of an idea." "What about over there?" "Espresso plum? Are you serious, I mean, do you think they have breakfast?" "They have coffee so I think we're right." Mulder is making me crazy, yes again. He acts like a kid in a candy store, he really thinks he's going to see a real vampire.

"Ok Mulder, whereto now?" He looks around searching for a clue where to go. He seems quite frustrated but then suddenly his eyes light up and I know this can't mean anything good. "Look Scully." "What? What Mulder?" "Over there. The 'Magic Box'. Sounds just like what we've been looking for." I can't even answer, he just grabs my hand and drags me in the direction of the store. As we open the door a bell rings. A young brunette is standing behind the counter and she immediately comes over to us. "May I help you? Wanna spend some money?" "We'd like to look at some books about vampires and such stuff." "Well, we've got some over there." She leads us to one of the shelves and shows us some books. "Well, we've heard something about a girl called the slayer, you wouldn't happen to know something about her or have any books, would you, Miss...? What was the name?" He's flirting with her, the guy is flirting right in front of me! "It's Anya.", she says but she seems a little defensive now. "And no I don't. I've got some work to do, you can take out the books and sit down at the table or something." She turns around and practically runs to the phone.



I like the job, I mean it's nothing like doublemeat palace. There's no fat and all but sometimes it gets boring. Nobody is coming to see me and I've sharpened every pencil I could lay a hand on.

Woah! The phone, just the phone, Buffy, that was loud. "Buffy Summers" "Buffy? It's Anya." "Anya. Hi, why are you calling me?" "Buffy there are two customers in the store who asked about you and I've never seen them before." "They asked about me? What did they want?" "Well, they didn't ask about you in particular, they wanted to see some books about vampires and asked me if I happened to know something about the slayer." "Well, probably they just read something and are looking for an adventure and want to see a real vampire now or something like that." "I don't know Buffy, I just wanted to let you know." "Thanks Anya, and try to get some more informations about what they want, will you? I'll come over after work." "Ok, bye." "Bye."

"Who was that?" Whoa again. "Dawn, what are you doing here and why do you want me to have a heartattack?" "I wanted to tell you that I'm going over to Janice's after school and about the other thing, what do you think? I want  the house all for myself." "Well, ok, but don't be out too long. I want you home before dusk." "But Buffy, it's Friday and there's no school tomorrow and didn't you want to go out with a particular vampire?" "I didn't even asked him...yet." "So maybe I should stay with Janice after all and leave you two some privacy." "DAWN!" "You still haven't told me who was on the phone." "It was Anya. There were some guys at the Magic Box who asked about the slayer." "Not the first time, is it?!" "No, but we still have to be careful."



Informations. Buffy wants informations so I'm gonna get them...Oh no that makes my day complete. "What are you doing here? And how did you get here?" "What do you think? The whelp isn't home and I was getting bored. Thought I'd pay you a visit, and as for how I got here, I surely didn't take a walk in the sun and I came from down there, now what do you think?" "Shh...Not so loud, Spike. I've got customers." "I bloody see that, you've always got customers." "But they are asking questions." "Don't you tell, and about what?" "Vampires." "Well, every second guy who comes through this bloody town asks bloody questions about bloody vampires." "They wanted to  know about the slayer, too." " Still don't see the problem." "I'm a thousand years old, they aren't just tourists, I can tell." "Great, just great, so the ex-vengence demon, then again demon and now, I just don't get it anymore, are you a demon now?! Anyway, does the slayer know?" "I called her."

"What did she say?" "She asked me to get some informations about what they want." "We should get them then." "We?"



Were did this guy come from? Looks like he's been in the basement or something. The basement, how fitting. Oh, he's coming over and he's hot. If Mulder can flirt with 'Anya' then I can think that he's hot. "May I help you?" Oh he's English, cute accent. "Well," Mulder glares at me, I think I stared a little too long at the blond."We are looking for some informations." "I figured that much. About vampires, Anya told me." "Yeah and about a girl called 'the slayer'. Do you know anything...?" Mulder tries to stare the blond down but he isn't bad, either, he doesn't waver, just stares right back." Well, Mr. what's your name?" "It's Mulder." "Mr.Mulder, why vampires?" "I heard about this town. What about you, ever seen one, or the slayer?" "Well, I am one and I slept with the slayer.", he grins. "Very funny, so can you help us? Maybe recomment a book?" "I think you and your wife are wasting your time." "I'm not his wife." Now Mulder glares at me again, sorta funny. "Alright, but I think you're wasting you time all the same.Why do you even want to know about that stuff." "Just interested.", Mulder answers."Want an advice? Leave it alone. There's nothing to know."

After hours of reading we've found a lot of nothing.Well we know now, that the slayer is a girl, but that we've known before. And that she's the chosen one, very powerful. Great, that we've known, too. Well, and that vampires are un-dead. -As I said, we've found nothing. In the afternoon we finally leave.

"Mulder, that was a waste of time." "Ok ok it was, but you seemed to like the blond guy." "Well, he is cute." "Great, just great." "And now?" "Well, I thought we were going to go out tonight, maybe we'll see the slayer. After all she's supposed to be agirl and girls go out on a Friday night, don't they?"




I go to the store immediately after school, well not school in that sense, after work. Sounds more grown up. "So Anya. What gives?" Well that's not Anya. That I know for sure. "Spike? What are you doing here?" "Trying to kill some time." "As long as you're only killing time." "What else would I kill? A human? Not bloody likely with the chip and the soul and all." "Did you see Anya?" "Yes I did, but she left, asked me to look after the shop." "That's great. You don't happen to know something about some guys who were asking about the slayer and things?" "Well I do happen to know something, I talked to them." "So????" "Well, they are humans, that much I can tell. A woman, your height, red hair. A guy, tall, asked about you. But they didn't seem to be a threat. Don't know anything" "Have you got the names." "His name is Mulder or something." "Maybe Willow can find out something." "Maybe." "Spike?" "Yes luv?!" "Well except killing time, do you have anything to do hm, tonight?" "Are you asking me out, pet?" "No! No...well yes."

"You are asking me on a date? The evil disgusting thing?" "That was a bad idea, forget that I said anything." "No, no Buffy, of course I'll go out with you." "Look Spike, you don't have to." "I'll pick you up. Around eight, ok?!" "Yes." "Bye luv.", as I leave the store I'm kinda relieved.



She asked me out. She asked me out! I'm having a date with Buffy, I just have to knock at the door. Come on, that's not that hard, is it?! Ok, I take an unneeded breath, raise my hand and the door opens. Am I not supposed to knock first?! "Hi Spike, thought you'd never knock, so I just ..." "Evening Nibblet, sis' ready?" "Not yet, she's changing her outfit again. Come on in." Buffy changed her out fit?! Because of me?! That's almost scary and I'm very confused as I follow Dawn into the living room and sit on the couch next to her. "Spike? Remember what I told you about setting you on fire while you're sleeping when you hurt her?" "Yes." "Well, that still counts." "Dawn, stop threatening Spike, I'm perfectly capable of killing him myself." Buffy emerges into the living room. "Well nibblet, you are the second in the line if she doesn't, you can kill me." "Ready Spike?" "Ready." "Dawn, don't go out, don't annoy Willow, she has to work." "Buffy! GO!" "Dawn?" "What?" "Good night." "Night Nibblet." " Yeah yeah. Go now."


"You look gorgeous Buffy." "Well thanks Spike, I just threw on something." Of course you did love, I think. "Why are you grinning like that? Dawn told you! The brat." "Yes she did... ehm did Willow find out something about this guy?" "She has to work for college but she's checking it out first thing tomorrow." Oh my god she can't. She did. Buffy took my hand. We are holding hands. And we are holding them the whole way to the Bronze. It's kinda full tonight. "Want something to drink, luv?" "A diet coke please." "Allright." She goes over to one of the sofas and I make my way to the bar to get a coke and a beer. After some time I finally get what I want and am able to get back to where she's sitting. "Thanks Spike." "Welcome." She starts sipping her coke and after a minute we suddenly both start to speak. "Do you..." "Wanna..." "You first.", I say. "Wanna dance Spike?" "Sure, luv." She drags me over to the dancefloor and I love the band that is playing because they start a new song,  a slow one. She lays her head on my chest and after some time she whispers, " I missed you." She knew I'd hear it, vampire after all. "Me too, luv." She looks up and I lean into her. Just as I'm about to kiss her, somebody jostles us. "Let's get out of here. We could patroll and talk some more." "Alright let's go." "I've to go to the bathroom first." "I'm gonna wait outside."




Have I mentioned that Mulder can be a pain in the ass? Well, he can. First he dragged me out to this town, then he made me read books, very boring and big books, then he drags me out to this I don't know what, to the Bronze -nice name- to look for a girl who looks like she kills vampires. Now that sounds stupid. Of course we didn't find her but we saw the cute blond and suddenly Mulder wanted to leave. We are just going out as we hear a scream from the alley next to the Bronze. We both draw our weapons and run over there. There's a man leaning over a woman and she's struggeling to come free. At first Mulder tries to talk to the guy to make him let the gil go as that doesn't work Mulder shoots but the guy doesn't go down just looks up and -he's ugly. He looks like a monster, likke a vampire in fact, but he can't be one. He comes over to us and Mulder shoots again but the guy  doesn't seem very interested in it, he just stops for a moment before he walks on. "You're not going to stop him with that", a quite familiar voice, says from behind us. The vampire looks in the direction the voice came from and the girl uses her chance and runs away. It's the voice of the blond. "Spike!", the other says. "Heard you went all soully, like Angelus." "Well, heard right then." Mulder looks from one to the other. Suddenly the vampire guy hits the blond, Spike is his name I think. But Spike dodges and the vampire gets his fist right between the eyes. Out of the shadows five more figures emerge, all of them with yellow eyes, fangs and the deformed face. Mulder really has a talent to get us into situations like this. I lower my weapon , cause I think it won't do any good. "Well, that's not quite fair, is it?!", Spike says. "Don't have the slayer nearby? Afraid you'll get you ass kicked?", one of the other vampires says. "Look, William the bloody all left alone, no slayer to help him." "Says who?", a girl's voice asks from behind us. "Guys I just wanted a night out with my boyfriend and you have to interrupt it, you are so gonna get your asses kicked." She's as tall as me and even thinner and I can't believe that she's going to kick anyone's ass. Mulder and I are ignored as two of the vampires attack Spike and the other three attack the girl. Both do not seem to be very impressed as they dodge, hit and kick the vampires. I get even more confused as they start to talk. "So I'm your boyfriend then?", Spike wants to know. "Well, I certainly hope, you'll be, I mean if you still want me." "Are you joking slayer? Thought you would never forgive me. Not the other way around." They are talking and fighting, it almost looks as if they are dancing. Mulder is just staring and so am I. " Well Spike, we both made mistakes but I'd like to give it another go. Ya know at the time I couldn't let myself love you but now it's different. I dealt with my problems and it isn't only because of the soul thing that I can imagine ..." "Buffy?" "Let me talk. That I can imagine a..." "BUFFY " "What?" "You  don't happen to have an extra stake, do you?" She throws him a piece of wood and within seconds one of the vampires turns into...into dust. "What I wanted to say is, that I can imagine a relationship with you now." Two of the vampires who were fighting the slayer turn around to face Spike and start to hit him. Spike's face changes into the same mask. A vampire, he's a vampire. "Well now I'm angry.", he says and one of them is dust. "You're gonna die Spike  and the slayer just the same." "Again?", the girl asks. "Bollocks. I am dead and the only one who's gonna get dusted is you and your friend there." , he says and the vampire is dust just like the one the slayer was fighting . They both free their clothes from the dust and turn to us. "Well,",she says,"heard you were looking for me." Mulder is speechless and that's a sight to behold. I look at Spike and say, "I thought you didn't know anything." "I told you to leave it alone and that I'm a vampire and slept with the slayer. Nobody believes the truth nowadays anymore." "You told them what?" "Look, they didn't believe me luv." "Spike! You're so so..." "Evil?", he asks hopefully. "You wish.", she says and smiles at him. She turns to us. "Why are you even interested in me, know hat I mean." "Ehm.", Mulder says, he can speak again, even if only something intelligent like 'ehm'. "We're federal agnts with the FBI and..." "Government again, great. Want to give me another chip?", Spike grumbles. "What? Why? ", I don't understand anything. "Forget it.", the slayer says. "Forget? Buffy are you crazy?", Spike cries out. So Buffy's her name. "Spike shut up. So what are you guys doing here?" "We're working in a division called the X-Files", Mulder explains "They deal with unexplained phenomena, me and Agent Scully there," - that would be me -you knew that alreaddy, didn't you?! -"...heard about you and wanted to see it with our own eyes."



Ok, these two are funny. FBI they are. "Alright.", I say. "We would be very thankful if there wouldn't be a file about us. "Yeah, the girl's right, and if there'll be a file I might bite you.", Spike throws in. "Oh Spike, we all know you are the big bad but would you just keep your mouth shut, please.", I say and smile sweetly. He glares at me but shuts up nevertheless.

"Well, alright.", Agent Scully says. "We're here privately so nobody is going to hear a word about this." The guy, Mulder I think, just nods. "Well great, then bye I think.", I say and turn away.

Spike stays where he is. "Coming Spike?", he easily catches up. "Where are we going, slayer?" "Home." "Ok, I'm turning left here. See you some day." "Spike I said we are going home." he looks confused, then nods, smiles and walk up to me. He takes my face into his hands and whispers, "I love you slayer." I look into those blue eyes of his and say for the very first time, "I love you, too Spike." He kisses me briefly then takes my hand and tries to drag me back to Revello Drive. I don't take a step just hold his hand and bring him near to me. Then I kiss him for real.



The whole drive back to DC Mulder told me that he knew it. I finally shut him up as we arrived at my appartment. Some hours later we fell asleep in my bed. I woke up about an hour earlier and thought about Buffy and Spike and watched Mulder sleeping.


~The End~


Comments: I dedicate this story to Marion and to my beta Melissa.
It was my first crossover and the longest story I ever wrote in english.
Not very much of a story  but hope you liked it nevertheless.
You can find my other stories at