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Date: 12 December 2003
Title: Sunnydale Series: Makin' it work
Author: Das Jessy
Archive: Ok! Want to know where nevertheless.
Summary: It's a new beginning and it won't be easy
Raiting: PG-13
Category: Buffy/Spike
Disclaimer: I really do believe they are mine, but  look at it this way; I also 
believe in Santa Clause.
Spoilers: Fourth in the Sunnydale Series, Follows 'It's all about believe' You should read the other stories first.
Feedback: Well...yes. mail to: jessy_84@t-online.de
Author's note: Don't have anything to note really, you can find my    
stories at www.spirit-of-x.de.vu , English isn't my first language blah blah.

 

 

Makin' it work

 

"Buffy, Buffy what's up, Luv?" "A nightmare, just a nightmare again." I look into her eyes, knowing fully well, that it wasn't just a nightmare. A blind could see the tension seeping out of her pores. Our first night as a couple, our first night in her bed and she wakes up screaming, not a good sign for a new relationship, I think. "Shall I go, Pet?" "No, no." Buffy looks at me fearfully and grabs my hand; she's really upset. Her arm creeps up my chest and she hugs me tight. "Don't you dare leave me now, Spike." She squeezes me as tight as she can and if I were a normal guy, I'd be dead by now. I'm really lucky, that I already am. That's one of the many benefits of having a vampire as a boyfriend, Captain Cardboard would have run screaming already. Getting away from the topic, Spike. Great, now I'm talking to myself, in my head. Well, I'm supposed to be crazy, Big Bad and all soul having now. Better talking to myself than getting all broody like the Poofter. Eew, I'm so not going there. But that's not the point at the moment. Point is, Buffy had a nightmare and not a normal one.

"It wasn't just a nightmare, Buffy, and don't even try to deny it." "It was one of this dreams, again. I had them before. They aren't just dreams.They are..." "I can follow you Buffy, go on." "Well, it's the second dream now, there are girls. They are hunted by black clad, I don't know what they are, but not human, that much I can tell, anyway, they hunt the girls and stab them. Both girls said something just before they died." " 'From beneath you it devours', I know. But what does it mean?" "I'm asking you, Spike." "Me, Luv?" "You said it yourself, after the thing with the worm guy." "I was crazy then, Buffy, I don't know it anymore, I even started a fight with Anya that night." "You must have a clue." " I don't. I wish I could help you." I've heard quiete a lot, after my soul was returned, all the voices in my head, all my victims screaming, accusing me. It's gotten better since I live with Xander, but they are still there, always will be. But I actually really don't know anymore what 'From beneath you it devours' is supposed to mean nor why I said it. Something big's coming, everybody knows that. Everybody who's a demon or at least a witch or something like that. Everybody knows that it is coming, but nobody knows what. There aren't many demons who talk to me anymore. They don't have any respect left for me, I'm a traitor, I left the dark to fight the good fight and even got a soul. Yes, I left the dark, I kept telling myself that Buffy belonged with me in the dark but I was wrong. She belongs into the light and if I wanted to be with her I had had to change the sides, not try to make her. This is where she belongs. The light, fighting the bad, saving the world from yet another apocalypse, and this is where I belong now, too. I belong with her. Willing slave and all, but it's not only a decision I've made for her, I've made it for myself just the same. She makes me want to live again -never going to happen,- but I feel less dead being with her and even when she was dead, just knowing I was doing something she'd approve of made it worth everything. The pain I felt when I saw Dawn, when I saw Buffy in her, the remarks of her friends about how worthless I was. And I was, still am, I am not worth of her, but she still loves me, says she does, and even wants the world to know, now. I'm a really lucky man, yeah that's what I am, a man, she makes me be one, not a vampire, not a creature, a man. I've never felt what I'm feeling for her. It was different with Druisilla, she was crazy, she was evil as was I. But I've changed and so has Dru, she was the first one to see that I was in love with the slayer, with my enemy. William the Bloody, slayer of slayers, in love with one. Bloody hell, yes. This love made me stay, look after Dawn and the scoobies. She made me promise to keep Dawn save and I failed, big time. I still blame myself for Buffy's death. And that's what she was, dead, for onehundred and fourty-seven bloody days, 147 until they ripped her out of heaven, until they brought her back to this hell, which, as they told her, was her life. And I was so madly happy, even knowing, where she was, I couldn't stop myself from being happy. I really hope she's happy again, now, that she is happy to be alive. She tells me she is and I believe her and I'm in awe that I'm one of the reasons that she's happy again. But I still know, that she will never forget where she'd been, that's she will always feel a little bit of the pain, she felt when she first got back. And now she has to fight again, the 'Warrior of the People'; well, yes, I read the spell Red used to bring her back. Now she has to save their asses again, even of those who hurt her. And it won't be easy this time, they don't exaggerate if they say that something 'big' is coming, I can only hope that this time it won't end like the last time, that this time she's not going to die, because there would be no comin' back then. "It's something big, slayer." "I know. I can feel it, too." "Your heightened senses, Luv. The whole demon world feels it." She gives me a dirty look. "I didn't mean it that way. You didn't come back wrong, wanted to apologize for that for a long time, now. What I mean is, everybody feels it, the witch has to feel it, too." "She does, she told Giles back in England that something was coming." Buffy entwines our fingers and lays her head on my chest. "I'm afraid, Spike. This isn't me, I didn't use to be afraid, but now I am." "We'll work it out, Luv." "What can't we face if we're together.", she mumbles. "What? "That was what I sang when Sweet was in town, with the scoobies, back at the Magic Box." "You were right then Buffy. There's nothing we can't face." She chuckles. "That's how the song went on." "Well, it's true. I won't let you die on me again, Buff. And Willow is very powerful, too, wont't let anything like that happen." "I certainly hope so." She sighs, then looks into my eyes. "Spike, I love you." I smile at her and sigh into her hair, "Me, too Luv. Me, too." "There'll always be threats." "I know. I used to be one of them. We'll get through everything and you'll be the oldest slayer, ever." "I probably already am.",she laughs. "Yeah, probably." "Spike, what'll happen if I'm getting old?" "What do you mean?" "Well, you won't. Get older, I mean, you'll always look like this. Will you still love me if I'm old and ugly?" "You won't be?" "Hm?", Buffy looks up surprised. "You just said I'll get very old." "Old, but never ugly." "Oh come on, one day I may look like I'm your grandmother's grandmother." "I'll still love you. I'll never leave you, I could never leave you, I haven't even when I thought you were dead. My love for you will last for ever, Buffy. I'm more afraid that one day you'll see me as what I am. That you'll see the demon again and not the man, or... or that you'll want a baby and... and just normal. That I could never give you." "We'll make it work, Spike. I'm sure about that much. And I'm not normal, either" "That's everything that matters to me, Luv; makin' it work." "We will...we will. I promise." I'm becoming  bloody Peaches, now I'm crying, there are bloody tears running down my cheeks. Damn soul, damn Peaches, should have warned me. Knows me for what?! 120 years and doesn't think it's necessary to tell his grandchilde just once ,<Never get yourself a soul, it'll turn you into me.>

Buffy doesn't seem to mind, she kisses my tears away and leans down to whisper into my ear,"It's alright, William, you can cry when you're with me." And that's what I bloody do, I'm worse than Peaches. "I want to be alive again for you Buffy. I want to be able to give you everything. A baby, too, if you'd ever want one, I want to grow old with you, to grow old myself, I mean, with you." She moves us so, that my head is resting in her lap while she's stroking my head. "Shh, Baby. We'll make it work, we really will. We'll stay together and there'll be away. It'll all work out just fine, you'll see." I turn my head and look at her face. I stroke her own tears away and she leans into my hand, and in this moment I believe that it is possible, that we'll stay together and be happy, that it will indeed work out fine, no, that it will work out great, better than great. She leans down a little more and I meet her midways. The kiss we share is sweet and it promises more to come, years of them to come.

~The End~

Comments: Well, that was sad. Could be a stand alone, couldn't it?! Next story is going to be a Buffy/Spike again, we'll see.
Thanks to my beta again, so much work for you, poor Mel and thank you so so much.

 

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