... and on.
Obvoisly Mr. Diaz paid attention to Mr.
Amderson attentence of the british "Foreign Media Association Awards",
which were also joined by Prince Edward of Wessex.
This event, so we assume inspired Mr. Diaz, because short after it, this e-mail appeared:
"Date: Fri, Jan16 2004 16:09:51 -0800 (PST)
From: Veritas Scripta <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Gillian Anderson’s SEX-capades with Prince Edward Exposed in EROTIC NOVELETTE !!!
For you Gillian Anderson fans who like juicy gossip, and especially my British readers, I found out during my
investigative research that Gillian is having a torrid affair with the Earl of Wessex, Prince Edward. He’s even
taken to buying the evening gowns that she wears whenever they’re seen together, like the flaming red, nearly
topless one she wore recently at the Foreign Press Association awards ceremony.
Indubitably, Prince Edward certainly got his money’s worth on that fiery, feline purchase. While seated at the
dinner table, as Gillian demurely leaned onto his lap, he couldn’t take his eyes off her low-plunging tunic,
which was doubly enticing since the red fabric was actually translucent, thereby enabling the Prince’s royal
wandering eye to witness not just Gillian’s erect nipples but also the circular outline of her areolas!! But I
dare say, when ISN’T Ms Anderson showing off her nipples with carefree abandon? Hmmm? It’s amazing how her
American "X-Files" fans are quickly forgetting that Gillian’s nipples are even bigger and more obvious than
Two of my more serious questions are: What do Julian Ozanne (Gillian’s fiancé) and the Lady of Wessex (the
Prince’s wife) think about all of this? and Was Julian merely the stepping stone that Gillian strategically
used as her introduction to certain male members of the British Royal Family?
This scandal, which is sure to rock Buckingham Palace to its already crumbling foundation, has remarkably been
exclusively exposed in Chapter Five of the Erotic, Fan-Fictional Novelette that I’ll discuss below, and my
telephone interviews and email/fax correspondences have collaborated and confirmed it. The really big question:
HOW IN THE WORLD DID BOBBY DIAZ, THE AUTHOR, FIND OUT ABOUT IT BEFORE ME?
Greetings and Felicitations, my name is Rita S., and I’m what’s known as a Data Retrieval Specialist
Extraordinaire. That’s a fancy title for someone who can acquire any gossip on anyone from anywhere.
Before going any further, I absolutely promise that I’m not trying to sell you anything. I don’t want a penny
from you, and you will receive no further correspondence from me. This is the only time you will ever hear from
me. Got it? Good.
Going back to what I do for a living, I was recently commissioned an investigative assignment by an extremely
wealthy woman, who understandably shall remain anonymous, to locate and retrieve a literary work of art about
Gillian Anderson that was making waves for a while on the Internet ever since August of this past year but that
had, as of mid-October or thereabouts, gone "underground. " All I was given to go on, as explained to me by my
client, was that it was considered by professional literary critics to be "the best adult literature ever
written starring Gillian Anderson." In fact, thousands who had read it considered it to be the best adult
literature ever written, period!
My job was to find it. I did. I located it at the top of the Message List of the "MSN Groups" site:
In order to access this site, you’ll first need a Hotmail ID, similar to or exactly the same as your Yahoo ID.
If you’re anything like the Internet Surfing Sleuth I am, you probably already have both.
The author is a Renaissance Man named Bobby Diaz, and he classifies it as an Erotic, Fan-Fictional Novelette,
and gave it the deceptively innocuous-sounding title, "An Enchanting Evening with Gillian Anderson." Apparently,
he revised it and made it even better than the first edition. This new, final edition to his Novelette is a 54-
page, illustrated and beautifully constructed Microsoft Word document, actually, and as an homage, I’ve taken
the liberty of including it as an Attachment to this email.
Before continuing, I have to warn you that the group mentioned is for ADULTS ONLY. If you are not an adult, you
will not be allowed to join the group, and you are forbidden to read any part of the attached Novelette. If you
are not an adult, you must delete this e-mail and go no further.
Okay. Since I see you’re still here, I’m going to function under the premise that you are actually an adult, in
other words, a mature individual who, once in a while, enjoys reading high quality adult literature. If that’s,
indeed, the case, then please go right ahead and access the attached Novelette.
My client has already paid me quite well for discretely getting this highly desirable Novelette to her in a
full-color, Velo-bound, hardcopy form. Along with being a major shareholder for a women’s magazine publishing
company, she’s also an avid collector of fine literary and artistic erotica featuring famous female celebrities.
Going the extra kilometre, I also provided my client with another Velo-bound printout of the Text File version
of the Erotic Gillian Novelette, which the author also considerately included in the MSN site above. I used
font style, "Arial," since it’s almost identical to my middle name, Ariel, and font size, "9." The printout
turned out to be just 33 pages, almost the 35 that Bobby Diaz was shooting for while he was writing it.
(Gillian’s 35 years old.) I always give my clients little bonuses like that because that makes mine the first
name they think of when it’s time to parcel out future assignments.
Like I said, I’ve already gotten paid, so it would be greedy of me to try and make any more money from it.
That’s not what I’m about. My assignment was over. That’s why I got back on the Internet, looked up from my
research notes this online group of Gillian Anderson fans, and made the Novelette available to all of you for
free. There is no cost to you. Like I said above, I don’t want either a dollar or a pound from you.
The only thing that I do politely request is that you share this free gift be Forwarding this email, along with
its collectors-item Novelette Attachment, to any other ADULT friends you know of who also like to read and
collect fine, high-quality, adult literature. Since we’ve just finished celebrating Christmas, your email
"Buddy List" is as up-to-date as it’s probably going to get for the next eleven months. So, it’ll be real easy
to simply Forward this email to several people on that list.
Send it to "the guy who has everything." We all know at least one person like that. Or, send it to a "Paris
Hilton" kind of girl. We all have at least one Paris-Hilton-wannabe in our lives. Or, send it to someone who,
like my client, is a collector of fine erotica. Or, send it to someone as a gag gift, on top of the cool gift
you already got them for Christmas. It doesn’t really matter. Just make sure you send it only to ADULTS.
Before bidding you a fond, fare-thee-well forever, I’m also including, just below, a copy of a fax I received
from a news-broadcast-fact-checker-gal-pal of mine during my investigative research. It should help to explain
Bobby Diaz’s profound abilities to blend fact and fiction into a saucy and addictive amalgam the likes of which
I’ve never seen before. To wit, mixed in with the erotic fiction of his Novelette is the real-world fact that
Gillian Anderson’s ex-boss, Chris Carter, is the actual biological father of her daughter. While "X-Files" fans
ran around like chickens with their heads cut off debating the existence of colonizing aliens for over a decade,
Gillian and Chris managed to keep their proceative secret hidden from them and the rest of the inquisitive
media. But they couldn’t keep it hidden from Sherlock Diaz!
And if you click into that MSN link I gave above, you’ll also find out what Bobby’s sinfully outrageous
thoughts are about such hush-hush subjects as "Visible Bikini Pantylines" and the "Exquisite Art of Female
Masturbation." Also included there is his review of Gillian Anderson’s film debut, "The Turning," and her nude
scene. Hopefully, she’ll grace us with one more – top, bottom, front AND back, please! – in a future film
before she gets much older. Gillian, you have to give the public what it wants. Let us see what you’ve been
showing Prince Edward, as of late, in your "secluded rendezvous." I’m sure a lot of Brits would certainly be
Something tells me those smaller documents by the inimitable Bobby Diaz will very soon also become much-sought-
after, collectors’ items, just like his Erotic Gillian Novelette proved to be. Who knows? The guy may actually
become quite famous someday soon. If you see the bound hardcopies of his writings selling on eBay for hundreds
of dollars, you’ll only get an "I Told You So" from me. They’re available right now for free. That’s why I’ve
already downloaded and printed up these smaller docs, as well, just in case they suddenly go "underground,"
Incidentally, I tried contacting him a few days ago at his email address BobbyDiaz@uReach.com , but so far he
hasn’t replied. I just wanted to express my gratitude, that’s all. Thanks to him, the Christmas gifts I bought
on my severely over-extended credit for my friends and family are already completely paid for. Bobby, if you’re
reading this, I owe you one.
Well, gotta run. On to my next assignment. This time I get to interview a famous actor. What a hunk! Au revoir.
Veritas Scripta, D.R.S.E.
fax rec’d 12/19/03
msg. dated 11/13/03
(N.B. The links given in the fax below are not viable; they’re "broken." Please simply refer to the MSN Groups
link I gave above. Thanks.)
Yahoo! Kills Gillian Group -- But EROTIC NOVELETTE LIVES ON !!
"The Powers That Be" do NOT want you reading the best Erotic Novelette ever written about Gillian Anderson. Why
else would they have terminated the absolutely largest Gillian Yahoo! Group that ever existed? Its link used to
be given by http:// groups.yahoo.com/group/ the_hot_and_naughty_gillian_anderson/ and had achieved a membership
total of 9,741, which is larger than ALL other Gillian groups COMBINED !
Back on October 10th, exactly five weeks ago, I e-mailed over a thousand different Gillian / Scully / X-Files
Yahoo! Groups inviting their respective members to join our unique Gillian Group and to download their very own
copy of the aforementioned Gillian Novelette. Later that same day, a Friday, at approximately 3:30 p.m. EST,
Yahoo! kept each of you from accessing this Novelette by maliciously terminating Gillianlaphile’s Yahoo! Group,
including his Gillianlaphile @yahoo.com e-mail account.
So, what our resourceful and resilient Group Founder has chosen to do is to align himself with Yahoo!’s biggest
competitor: The Microsoft Network. His Gillian Novelette is now located in an MSN Group site. (This is
Microsoft Network’s version of Yahoo!’s Groups.) And what’s suitably appropriate is that the Gillian Novelette
was originally written as an MS Word document.
A few minutes before Yahoo! pulled the plug on Gillianlaphile’s group, the Gillian Novelette had surpassed a
total of 26,100 downloads since its initial release back on August 08th of this year, officially making it THE
most popular adult literature ever written about Gillian Anderson. To access it, just click on the MSN link:
and then click on the MESSAGES section. That’s where you’ll find it, at the very top of the list.
If you don’t already have one, all you’ll need is a Hotmail account, which is free to sign up for, just like
your Yahoo! account was. Please note, however, that like his previous Gillian Yahoo! Group, his new Gillian MSN
Group is for ADULTS (i.e., Mature Members) ONLY. You must be 18 or older to join the Group and to access the
Gillian Novelette. It is absolutely TABOO for anyone younger than college-age to read it.
In typically spiteful retaliation for what I’m telling you, Yahoo! will most certainly permanently de-activate
my "XFiles_Vixen" e-mail account, as well, but there’s no way that they can keep you from accessing this famous
and much-talked-about and much-sought-after Gillian Novelette this time around since it’s now located in an MSN
Group site !
But, just in case something weird does happen with that site, too, don’t be the only Gillian fan left out in
the cold. Quickly -- before the Two-faced Symbols of Authority swoop down from their Ivory Towers -- click on
the MSN link:
JOIN the Group, click on the MESSAGES section, and then quickly download and save your very own copy of the
Gillian Novelette. And if you have a printer, print up a hardcopy and hide it where no one can come along and
steal it from you. (Don’t even wait to finish reading this e-mail. Go! Now! Quickly! Click and download! You
can always come back to this message later.)
That way, no one can ever take it away from you -- not Yahoo!, not nobody. Yahoo! may like to deceive itself
into thinking it can reach out to an MSN group and capriciously terminate it as easily as they can one of their
own groups, but the stone-cold truth of the matter is that they cannot, no matter how much they’re pissing in
their panties wishing they could. You see, the Microsoft Network is controlled by the world’s richest man, Bill
Gates. And he can buy and sell the entire Yahoo! dot com corporation a hundred times over and not even blink!
After downloading your very own copy of the Gillian Novelette from Gillianlaphile’s new MSN Group, please go
ahead and post a little message. What do YOU feel about how Yahoo! terminated his huge Gillian Group? What do
YOU think about his Erotic Gillian Novelette? Any other thoughts? Or, just say Hello! He’s been feeling down in
the dumps ever since 10/10 (and the Yankees losing the World Series didn’t help matters any), and I know he’d
love to hear from his former loyal members (over 9,700 of ‘em) and his new MSN ones, as well.
If you’re kinda shy, and instead of posting a public message in his new Gillian MSN Group would rather
communicate privately with him, "you" can "reach" him at:
Now, on to other titillating matters. There’s something else that Gillianlaphile has done that’s also become
well-known, besides his seminal Erotic Novelette about Gillian.
The Homepage Pic of his previous Yahoo! Group was an original creation and was incontestably THE sexiest pic of
Gillian Anderson anywhere on the Internet, anywhere in the print media, or anywhere on TV, stage or screen. It
is based on one of the actual photographs -- known as the "Gillian Thong Series" -- taken of Gillian back on
March 2001 at a Vanity Fair party, where she’s wearing a navy blue, backless evening gown, designed by Eduardo
Lucero, that plunged so low down her backside it allowed her to playfully show off her skimpy thong panties.
Clicking on the link:
and then gazing upon the "Homepage Pic of Gillian" page, you’ll see that where Eduardo left off, Gillianlaphile
began: He expertly altered the gown to show a heckuvalot more of Gillian’s creamy, alabaster skin. In fact,
Gillianlaphile predicts that more and more women’s evening gowns will copy his sexy design in the very near
future. If you doubt him, just flip your TV’s remote control to the Univision Network (the foremost Latino
broadcasting network, headquartered in northwest Miami, Florida), and take a gander(son) at what the female
hostesses on the variety shows are currently wearing (more like NOT wearing!).
Gillianlaphile says that the next logical step for them would be to start purposely exposing parts of their
breast areolas and the first inch or two of the cracks of their tushies! In fact, just like Gillian is
coquettishly showing in the Homepage Pic!
Thanks to him, Gillian will always be remembered as the celebrity who boldly went where no woman has gone
before by taking the next desirable step in evening-gown wear. As a sexy fit and curvy woman, myself, I would
never hesitate for even a second to wear a dress like that and strut and pose on a red carpet at some gala
event somewhere. Without the slightest doubt, all the flashbulbs would be popping, and all heads -- both male
AND female -- would be turned in my direction.
This pic is integrated into the Gillian Novelette as one full-sized image (just above the Disclaimer) and
sixteen tiny chapter logos. So, by downloading the Gillian Novelette, you’ll be acquiring the famous pic at the
same time! Two for the price of one, and, even better, there is no price. It’s free! All that Gillianlaphile
asks is that you share the Gillian Novelette freely with your ADULT friends, colleagues, associates,
acquaintances, neighbors, relatives, etc. But, please, ONLY ADULTS !
For those of you who didn’t get a chance to read it, or who inadvertently deleted it from their e-mail Inboxes,
at the very bottom of this message I’ve chosen to append a verbatim copy, in its entirety, of my October 10th
letter that caused Chris Carter to throw a hissy fit at the Yahoo! dot com people resulting in the permanent
termination of Gillianlaphile’s Group.
You see, Chris did NOT want "The Truth" getting "Out There" as to how HE’S THE REAL BIOLOGICAL FATHER OF
GILLIAN’S DAUGHTER. Instead, even though he’s a multi-millionaire many times over (thanks to our faithful
allegiance to his show all these years), he greedily wants you to continue purchasing his "X-Files" DVDs as
they continue being issued and believing in "alien bounty hunters" and things that go "BUMP" in the night. So,
he used his media connections on Yahoo!, and Yahoo! being the advertisement-driven, media-whore-monger that it
is, it caved.
While on the subject of nonexistent "alien bounty hunters," here’s a pithy quote by Gillianlaphile, taken from
the MESSAGES section of his previous Gillian Yahoo! Group.
"Brian Thompson should eschew any continued playing of that role and stick to acting the much more credible
part of cross-dressing-‘Silence-of-the-Lambs’-serial-killer copycats, as in his ‘Joe Dirt’ comedic film.
Seriously, whenever I’d see him in an ‘X-Files’ episode, his laughably-low-tech, retractable, back-of-the-neck,
alien-killing, ice pick, with the human-voiced-sound effect, ‘PHFFTH,’ got me rolling my eyes in boundless
disappointment every time."
Gillianlaphile masterfully brings into play other "X-Files" actors into his Gillian Novelette, as well,
including David Duchovny, Mitch Pileggi, and the "Pimp of the Paranormal," Chris Carter. Wanna know the
horrible thing that’s gonna happen to Mitch’s show, "TARZAN," on the Warner Brothers Network? Well, you’ll just
have to click on the MSN link:
download the Novelette from the MESSAGES section, and sit comfortably back and voraciously read through its
incandescent pages to find out! The scoop is in there somewhere, promise.
As the 9,700+ members of Gillianlaphile’s previous Group will attest, about once a month he would e-mail a
Group-wide announcement about some new gossip in Gillian’s life (often including "Letterman"-type jokes about
her current fiancé, Julian Ozanne, sent in to him by members), which will form the bulk of the "unauthorized"
biography he’s currently writing about her -- slated to be published by Simon & Schuster in early 2005. Here’s
the very last one that hit the MESSAGES section just before Yahoo! terminated his Gillian Group back on October
"Although I’m a dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker residing on The States’ side of ‘the pond,’ I have no less than
eight confidential informants based in London who keep me appraised of Gillian’s comings, goings, and overall
high-jinks. Four of these work for the media, three are from among her Notting Hill neighbors, and one is a
close correspondent who visits with her on a regular basis. It is this mutual friend who has informed me that,
due to Gillian’s devastating performance in the London play, ‘What The Night Is For,’ which was forced to shut
down a whole two weeks early, back in February of this year, Gillian has been taking acting lessons with one of
Britain’s best acting coaches. Gillian is too embarrassed to go to acting classes like a regular person and
surround herself with aspiring actors, most of whom are nearly destitute and struggling just to ‘get their
(nearly bare) feet in the door.’"
"Gillian is paying this acting coach a lot of money, but methinks it ain’t worth it. With all due respect, if
Gillian is considered to be lacking in the thespian skills now, after all these years in front of a camera and
recently treading the London boards, just imagine her abysmally woeful ability to evocatively perform back in
1993 when she was starting out on ‘The X-Files.’ And yet, the show succeeded for nine seasons."
"The main reason the show was a hit was because of the constant and innumerable camera close-ups of Gillian’s
unusually beautiful face and especially those impossibly full, pouting lips of hers. Gillian pouted her way to
fame and fortune for nine whole years. But now she wants to toss aside her time-tested modus operandi and
attempt to compete against serious actresses from proven Shakespearean backgrounds? It’s sheer lunacy, I tell
"Gillian should just continue pouting into the camera. Who knows? Maybe she’ll be able to garner yet another TV
series out of it, this time perhaps with the BBC instead of with the Fox Network. And for those who erroneously
think ‘The X-Files’ success was due primarily to Chris Carter’s Producing/Writing Magic, well, how do you
explain his ‘Harsh Realm’ and ‘Lone Gunmen’ abject failures? ANSWER: They were absent Gillian’s close-ups and
full, pouty lips!"
"As of late, Gillian has been sporting long, blond hair, but yet, in recent photographs appearing in magazines,
she’s obviously trying her darndest to look sternly into the camera lens while sitting and posed decidedly
masculine. I gotta ask, What gives, Silly Gilly? Do you want to be viewed as a stereotypical blond, brainless
bimbo? Or, do you want to be perceived as a no-nonsense, kick-‘em-in-the-balls lesbian? Make up your mind,
already, and finish moving through your transitional phase, because the two are mutually exclusive genres."
"Time is of the essence here; don’t wait too long to make that life-altering decision. After all, you’re
already at the age where the only parts you’ll soon be able to get in low-budget films will be ‘Mum-type’ roles.
And usually those are minor roles far removed from any realistic hopes of garnering any recognition, let alone
winning any significant awards."
"And Gillian, if you want to regain some of your lost recognition, please stop emulating your old lover, Ellen
DeGeneres. Now that she’s finally wearing brighter, more feminine colors on her new talk show -- in lieu of all
that baggy, gender-neutral black -- it looks like you’ve also taken a shine to neon fuschias and fluorescent
lime-greens. I mean, it’s understandable why Ellen’s gotta do it: This is the last attempted comeback that her
yo-yo career’s got left. There won’t be anymore. So, she’s gotta make it work this time. (Lucky for her,
lesbianism is more socially acceptable today than ever in recorded history. Thus, she doesn’t have to worry
about being TKO’ed by that stinging stigma, again.) But, Gillian, by you sporting those garish colors in
solidarity, you’re not saying ‘Look at the new Gillian.’ How you’re coming across is, ‘Look at the Ellen D.
"Looking for a knockout fashion trend to set that’ll be all your own, Gillian? Seriously, I’m offering this bit
of advice to you since I’m in lust with you, and I’ll always be in lust with you. Bring tiny bikini pantylines
back into style. Technically, they are considered a fashion-taboo, and definitely should never be seen under
silky gowns or dresses, but psycho-sexually speaking, visible pantylines (VPLs) displayed under skintight
women’s slacks and especially jeans make 99.99% of all heterosexual men cream their shorts."
"If anyone can successfully bring back the exquisite Art of VPLs, it’s you. (Either you or a world-famous, all-
girl band.) Gillian, you could become known as the ‘Pantyline Feline,’ and in the process reacquire the tens of
millions of men who -- as I, myself, still do to this very day -- lusted after you during the peak of ‘The X-
Files’ years. And as you’re well aware, all this massive global lusting can be parlayed by the right agent and
PR firm into mega-deals in the entertainment industry. Just a thought. Just puttin’ it ‘Out There.’"
"Is this all really necessary? Well, you be the judge. To wit, a recent ‘Celebrities : Where Are They Now?’
type poll given on the street corners of midtown Manhattan revealed that only three (3!) out of every one
hundred participants remembered that Gillian Anderson played ‘Dana Scully’ on ‘The X-Files.’ (For some obscure
reason, about two out of every five thought she was a Country-Western singer!) CONCLUSION: Gillian, you’re
slowly fading into oblivion, which I’m sure you don’t want to happen, or why else would you have prompted your
agent to work so assiduously in getting you the flurry of magazines you’ve appeared in lately? It’s patently
obvious that your unbridled vanity irresistibly commands you to continue posing in front of the camera lens,
and that you still love to do so."
"But be mindful of which camera lens you choose. If you do go the route that many are saying you will, that is,
narrating your fiancé’s documentaries, the Hollywood and London media moguls will collectively shake their
heads and disappointedly view it as your landing the role because you sleep with ‘the boss.’ And that would
simply be a shameful extension of your Chris Carter / ‘X-Files’ days. Won’t it?"
"So, Gillian, please, please, please do us all and yourself a really big favor: Lacquer on the high-gloss
lipstick and go back to unabashedly pouting those sexy, full lips of yours. They’ll go great with your new
sunny, golden mane!"
Bugger me! Hi, it’s Victoria, again. No wonder the folks at Yahoo! played dirty and pulled the rug out from
under Gillianlaphile when he wasn’t looking: When it comes to the heady, high-brow game of verbal volleyball,
he pulls no punches and lets the blood splatter where it may!
You know, it’s ironic. In the fateful October 10th letter (appended below), I compared Gillianlaphile’s Group
to the movie, "Titanic." And I even went as far as to call his Gillian Yahoo! Group "unsinkable." But by Yahoo!
terminating his Group, it did, in essence, "sink." When this happened, our Group Founder, figuratively speaking,
witnessed his own Group "founder." And yes, afterward, some of his detractors burped, farted, and laughed out
loud, as jealous rivals are often wont to do.
But when you think about it, it was actually destiny unfolding majestically. Follow me on this: If the real
R.M.S. Titanic ship on its maiden voyage way back on April 1912 hadn’t hit that iceberg and sunk --with
approximately 1,500 passengers dying in the process -- more than four generations of students would never have
read about it in their history textbooks and novels, and James Cameron would never have created his 1997
cinematic masterpiece about the North Atlantic tragedy. Similarly, by Gillianlaphile’s Group "sinking" -- with
over 9,700 former members being summarily dismissed without even so much as a form letter e-mailed to them by
Yahoo! explaining why it did what it did -- it has crossed over from the ubiquitously inconsequential (i.e.,
merely one out of more than three million Yahoo! groups) to the uniquely historical.
Paradoxically, the inconsiderate Yahoo! dot com automatons should actually be thanked for helping
Gillianlaphile’s Group, albeit now defunct, achieve legendary status: Online communications will be zipping
back and forth as people continue talking about it for many years to come as the singularly sensational Group
that Yahoo! had to kill because it had gotten too huge. It had gotten too "Titanic!"
Before signing off, I would like to address the noisy nay-sayers and other player haters who, since October
10th, have been acrimoniously spreading rumors that Gillianlaphile’s Group,
The_Hot_and_Naughty_Gillian_Anderson, never existed. Well, I gotta tell ya, there are over 9,700+ former
members who would vehemently disagree. It shouldn’t be too hard to find at least one of them in one of the
other anemic Gillian Yahoo! groups, most of which have been dying a slow and ugly death ever since "The X-Files"
But for those who need immediate proof, might I suggest the following? Try, just for fun, to start a Yahoo!
group (free, of course) with the name The_Hot_and_Naughty_Gillian_Anderson . You’ll immediately discover that
the cyber-nerds at Yahoo! won’t let you. Their reason? They’ll be impulsively guessing that you, yourself, are
the one and only Gillianlaphile, and that you’re defiantly attempting to re-activate his former Gillian Group
while "hiding" behind a different Yahoo ID.
If you’ve tried sending a message to his Gillianlaphile @yahoo.com e-mail account, you’ve already discovered
that it’ll just immediately bounce back to your own Inbox as an "undeliverable message," since Yahoo!
permanently de-activated his e-mail account the same day they terminated his Gillian Group. But, just for fun,
once again, try to sign up for a new Yahoo! e-mail account (again, free, of course) designated by Gillianlaphile
@yahoo.com. The anal-retentive Yahoo! cyber-geeks won’t let you do that, either, because when they terminate
with extreme prejudice one of their groups or e-mail accounts, it stays terminated. Therefore, even though
neither his Gillian Group nor his Yahoo! Profile ID exist today, prior to October 10th, they both certainly
existed. They existed BIG TIME. Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
There is one last thing that unfortunately needs addressing: Those nefarious negativists who unjustifiably
played the pedophilia card by wildly and unsubstantially claiming that since Gillianlaphile discloses in his
Erotic Novelette that Chris Carter is Piper’s biological father, it irrationally follows suit that
Gillianlaphile is a pedophile for even mentioning her name within its pages. Truth be told, if an intelligent
person were to actually read the Novelette, s/he would invariably conclude that nothing could be further from
Here’s the rational refutation. Firstly, Piper’s name is mentioned only in passing during a non-sexually-
oriented, polite conversation, while sipping coffee, among the three female characters in the story: Gillian
Anderson, Carmen Electra and Cindy Margolis. Secondly, Piper’s name must be mentioned, as it relates to the
most important thesis explored: That Chris Carter actually IS her dad in real life.
And thirdly, just because a child’s name is mentioned in passing in an otherwise erotic story does NOT
necessarily make the author, nor any of his readers, pedophiles. Granted, Piper’s name might have somewhat less
volatilely appeared in a totally-non-sexually-based, biographical article which could have just as carefully
explored the same thesis. But I dare say that it would have been downloaded nearly the 26,100 times like the
Erotic Novelette has been -- probably not even a hundred times.
Here’s a relevant example. The comedy show, "Mad TV," which, by the way, is broadcasted by the exact same
network (Fox) that gave us "The X-Files," loves to do spoofs. During its first season, about eight years ago,
it did a spoof on Chris Carter’s "Creation" that was so hilarious I peed my leotard! More recently, two
Saturdays ago in fact, "Mad TV" did a spoof on the "PowerPuff Girls," an actual cartoon series currently very
popular among prepubescent girls, most of them still basically children.
"Mad TV" renamed them the "PowerSlut Girls." In the short animated skit, one of the PowerSlut Girls makes
mention of the fact that she might have drunk too much "ALCOHOL and SPERM," quote – unquote.
Now, for daring to do that, does that make the entire Fox Network and "Mad TV" and its millions of viewers
across the country pedophiles simply because something of a child’s affectation was presented within an adult
theme? I say, Definitely Not! And most, if not all, reasonably thinking, responsible members of our society
would agree. The same reasoning applies to Gillianlaphile, as a frighteningly intelligent, heterosexual man,
who prides himself on his cunnilingus and other lovemaking skills (trust me, I know), and to his Erotic
Novelette, as an unparalleled literary work of art.
And for those among you who impulsively played that pedophilia card, SHAME ON YOU! Gillianlaphile, as Bobby
Diaz, was actually awarded a bronze plaque a few years back for his tireless efforts in Community Watch
programs in his area of Queens. Can you say the same?
Yeah, I didn’t think so!
Okay, time to climb down off my soapbox and leave you with these words of encouragement: A new, wondrous era is
upon the horizon. Like the Biblical Phoenix ascending from its ashes, Gillianlaphile has already started
You see, two years and two months ago, more than 200 floors from twin buildings unbelievably came crashing down
in the city in which he was born and that has served as his home his whole life. He was one of the lucky
survivors, and as a permanent, personal memorial has hermetically sealed the torn and concrete-dust-laden
clothes he wore on that fateful Tuesday morn in plastic wrapping in his bedroom closet.
Thus, like millions of other New Yorkers, he is quite familiar with the concept of re-building, of intrepidly
starting back at square one, looking head-on into the future, and daring to ask, "Is that all you got? Yeah?
Well, then, get outta my way!"
Come join us at MSN Groups, so you, too, can get in on the ground floor of all the coming attractions and
activities. Come be a part of history in the making.
[Must be over 18 to join.]
P.S. Quickly now, go get your very own copy of the Erotic Gillian Novelette, but please do NOT reply to this e-
mail (although, you should definitely save it as "a keeper"). The vindictive cyber-goons at Yahoo! have already
probably de-activated it as their typical way of punishing me for the truthful information I’ve shared with you.
You see, in life sometimes not only individual people and monolithic governments but also down-sizing, stock-
depreciating, asset-divesting corporations such as Yahoo! hate when the truth comes out and will do anything in
their power to squash it.
Live Long, Prosper, and GO OUT HAVE SOME FUN !!
Verbatim copy, in its entirety, of the October 10th letter that caused Chris Carter to throw a hissy fit at the
Yahoo! dot com people resulting in the termination of Gillianlaphile’s Group and e-mail account.
The BIGGEST "X-Files" SECRET Ever Exposed -- In EROTIC NOVELETTE !!
Hi, my name is Victoria, and I’m a member of the most unique Gillian Anderson Yahoo! Group ever created --
given by the link:
-- and which happens to be THE ABSOLUTELYY LARGEST GILLIAN ANDERSON YAHOO! GROUP THAT HAS EVER EXISTED, period!
Our Homepage Photo, our Group’s exclusive original creation, is the indisputably sexiest pic of Gillian
anywhere on the Internet.
The main reason we are bigger than all other Gillian groups COMBINED is due to our Thousands and Thousands Of
Loyal Members: Back in August, just before the Yahoo! dot com people permanently deleted all pic attachments
that were archived in the MESSAGES sections of the hundreds of Gillian / Scully / X-Files Yahoo! groups, our
Group Founder, "Gillianlaphile," broadcasted over 1,000 messages alerting everyone to the impending doom.
(Similar in scope to what I’m doing now.)
A lot of fans didn’t believe him. Well, it actually happened, just like he said it would. Now all those
messages that used to carry sexy Gillian pic attachments are all empty, mere ghostly images of their former
But, luckily, a select group of people DID believe him, and by acting proactively, major disaster was averted.
I’m proud to say that many of this group’s members and our own Group’s members, as well, acted quickly and
uploaded the sexiest pic attachments of Gillian they could find in this and other groups into the PHOTOS
section of our premier Gillian Group -- thereby rescuing them from elimination and saving them forever in our
Our Group Founder wants to thank your group’s members for all of the sexy Gillian pics you e-mailed to and
uploaded into our Gillian Group. They are ready for viewing right now!
Now, let’s talk about that "BIGGEST SECRET" thing. If you click on our link:
and then JOIN, you’ll find at the very top of the FILES section an EROTIC, FAN-FICTIONAL NOVELETTE, which has
been critically acclaimed as "the best adult literature ever written starring Gillian Anderson." Fantastically,
other "X-Files" stars are also prominently featured as characters in the 49-page story. (If compressed down
into a simple text file, it’s really only 35 pages.) Also, Carmen Electra and Cindy Margolis sensuously help to
round out the cast.
According to our Group’s Database, the Novelette has been downloaded over 25,700 times during the short nine
weeks since its release. (Gillianlaphile, our Group Founder, wrote it exclusively for Gillian Anderson’s 35th
birthday, back on August 09th, and sent it out to our thousands of members the day before in a Group-wide e-
mail. And it’s been bouncing around the Internet like ping pong balls in a lottery machine ever since. In fact,
interest is still continuing to grow.) But to access it, you must be at least 18 years of age. It is TABOO for
anyone younger than college-age to read it.
In this Gillian Novelette, the author reveals the BIGGEST SECRET that "The X-Files" people kept hidden from
their fans for all these years. (And, no, it doesn’t have anything to do with such paranoia-inducing concepts as
"alien bounty hunters," or chain-smoking G-men who control all facets of our federal government, or supremely
advanced ETs who preposterously need the help of us relatively primitive humans before they’re able to
"colonize" our planet. Puh-leze !!)
"The X-Files" BIGGEST SECRET, the one they didn’t want you ever finding out about, is that Chris Carter (who
will turn 46 this coming Monday, October 13th) is the real biological father (not just Godfather) of Gillian
Anderson’s daughter, Piper Maru, who just finished celebrating her 9th birthday, back on September 25th. The
author of the Gillian Novelette carefully explains how Piper’s conception came about, having taken place during
the middle of the very first season of "The X-Files," and why this led Chris Carter to constantly keeping
Gillian "Dana Scully" Anderson completely covered for nine whole seasons under so many layers of clothing --
such as baggy business suits under tent-sized trenchcoats -- in scenes where it was clearly obvious to the
viewer that it was very warm and sunny outside.
The jealousy factor in Chris Carter’s tortured ego wanted his male viewers to continue misperceiving Gillian as
a cold, detached, unapproachable artifice rather than the true, amorous, sexually-volcanic femme fatale she
actually is in real life.
And from Gillian’s own perspective, this biological bond that she shared with Chris Carter -- over and above
the professional one -- is what caused her to decide to remain loyal to him and "The X-Files" during its final
two seasons, even though David Duchovny was continually coaxing her to leave with him.
Joining our Gillian Group at:
and then perusing our MESSAGES section, you will also discover that the author of the Gillian Novelette is the
only person, out of millions of "X-Files" fans, who knew that David Duchovny accidentally urinated on himself
at the beginning of the scene where he sees the tattooed geek, "The Conundrum," biting into a raw fish in the
popular ‘Humbug" episode.
He was also the only person to know that, in the same episode, Gillian DID put the live orthoptera insect in
her sexy pouty mouth, but immediately and reflexively spat it back out, off-camera, with one of the junior crew
members quickly scooping it up off the ground while still alive and mysteriously skulking away with it, never
to be heard from again! As Gillianlaphile explained in one of his eagerly received Group-wide messages: "Thus,
one mystery evolves into another one, par for the course in the surreal realm of ‘The X-Files.’" (This quote
comes from Message #106.)
Touching once again upon the Chris Carter Paternity Issue, our Group Founder has been quoted as saying the
"Kindly allow me a few minutes, if you will, to predict, practically verbatim, what Gillian Anderson will say
if she ever decides to come clean on some talk show or magazine article and finally discuss the truth about
Chris Carter -- not her ex-husband, Errol Clyde Klotz -- being the actual biological father of her daughter,
"With a serious look on her face and a measured cadence to her speech, her rehearsed words will be: ‘Chris and
I were deeply in love during the early part of our working together. And, even though he was married at the
time, we made love once and only once. Our beautiful and precious daughter, Piper, was the wonderful result of
that love. The reason neither of us ever told the media before had nothing to do with trying to keep a secret
or living a lie. The real reason is that we felt it was nobody’s business.’"
"I, Gillianlaphile, respectfully counter with, if it’s ‘nobody’s business,’ then why go on record many times
with that same media by saying that Chris Carter was merely Piper’s Godfather? Gillian was so close to telling
the truth during each of those dozens of times she mentioned the word ‘Godfather.’ Why start to reveal the
truth only to purposely leave it hidden behind a deception? To me, it seems like Gillian was expertly coached
by Chris Carter, himself -- a man who is a proven manipulator at taking a pristine kernel of truth, cloaking it
under many layers of cancerous lies, and then getting the gullible masses to gulp it down and believe it
"I propose that it’s NOT ‘nobody’s business.’ Instead, it’s Everybody’s Business! When you’re an actress making
more money (not to mention continuous future royalties) from a single week’s episode than the average fan makes
in 3 years of busting their hump at their job, then it becomes Everybody’s Business. After all, each of us pays
for that actress’ lifestyle-fit-for-a-Queen each and every time we turn on the TV set and give up our time to
watch her show, which of course includes enduring all those dreadful, insipid commercials interspersed
"These words may seem harsh. But they’re really not. They’re borne out of the love that I feel for Gillian. And
I DO love her, more than Chris Carter and David Duchovny ever did and more than Julian Ozanne could ever summon.
I want Gillian to experience that by divulging the truth to her fan base and her feminist/lesbian constituency,
they’ll more than likely be of one collective mindset: So, Chris has been Piper’s daddy all along. Okay.
Deception forgiven. Let’s get on with our lives."
"And, Gillian, when you finally DO decide to tell the truth about Piper & Chris, might as well go all the way:
Like your having sex with Chris not just ‘once’ but many times off-and-on since the summer of 1993, with the
most recent instance being last year; like your having sex with David over a dozen times while he was still
married to Téa Leone; like the ‘butch’ phase of your life (from the summer of 1999 till the winter of 2000/01)
which included your lesbian threesome experimentations with Ellen DeGeneres and her ‘life partner.’ Do a major
purging and cleansing. Just come clean with all of it."
"After all, Gillian, we never expected you to go without sex those nine years you were on ‘The X-Files,’ while
not dating anyone seriously and with no successful relationships to show for all that time. The fictional Dana
Scully could go without sex for seven years before succumbing to ‘The Itch’ via the man-child Mulder, but that
doesn’t mean that you, Gillian, were expected to be able to do the same."
This is Victoria, again, reminding you that we are the "Titanic" of all Gillian groups. And like James
Cameron’s cinematic masterpiece, "Titanic," was the biggest, greatest and most popular movie in all of
Hollywood history, our Group is the biggest, greatest and most popular Gillian group of all time.
But we remain diminished without you. So please, come JOIN us. You’ll be glad you did. Promise.
See ya there, on board the unsinkable R.M.S. Gillianlaphile!
[Must be over 18 to join.]
P.S. Gillian Leigh Anderson: "The Truth Is" no longer "Out There." It is Within You, and always has been. After
all these years, it’s time to let it out. It’s time to free yourself.
Oh, and lest I neglect to mention, Bobby Diaz, our Group Founder ( a/k/a Gillianlaphile ) has relayed to me
that he earnestly wishes he had been blessed with the economic means to travel in the same circles as Julian
Ozanne. If you had gotten together with Bobby, instead of with Julian, you would’ve never had the need to back
out of your wedding last month in September and suffer all that embarrassment and gossip about your supposed
continued inability to form a successful relationship. It would have been never-ending bliss for the two of you.
God, how he’d love to cuddle and watch "Titanic" with you for just one evening.
A guy, who loves Titanic?
Do you still have any doubts of his mental state?
For, you see, Bobby Diaz has cherished you for over a decade.
He still loves you.
And he will ALWAYS unconditionally be in love with you, Gillian.
Attached:EROTIC, FAN-FICTIONAL NOVELETTE by Bobby Diaz.doc"
Bobby-Baby is a hopless case, next to "Victoria" this weird Agent of his, "Veriats scriptas" is his third personality. Dont`want to know, how many members of his groups are his personalities, too. And that is the "written truth", Mr. Daiz.