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Sound Bites

You have two choices to hear these files. The way to hear these sounds quickly, at a slightly lower quality, and without opening a sound-playing program, click the . Your browser should then automatically play the 8K mHz ".wav".
If you want higher quality (especially if you plan to use them as system sounds), click the . These files are 22K mHz, WAV formatted, ZIP compressed, so that PC users can read them. For all you Mac users out there (like me), these zipped WAVs will decompress with
Stuffit Expander (or ZipIt) and play using SoundApp. SoundApp can also convert these clips to Mac System files, so you can use them as event sounds. Write me if you have any trouble.

Like what you hear? Wanna have it to keep forever and ever? Order the CD from CDnow. Or, order the movie.

If you wanna know what sound goes with which dialogue (before you commit to downloading), click the. It will bring you to that line on the Story page, where the entire movie is written out. It's a large page, but if your browser uses a cache, you will only have to wait for the Story Page page to download once (it will auto-load the next times you access it ).

[4/24/2000 - ONLY 8-BIT SOUNDS ARE AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME. Higher quality (and smaller) clips will be updated soon! Thanks for your patience!]

22 mHz

8 mHz


Story Link

Intro to theme song. This is the famous "20 years ago today," sung by Paul Nicholas as Dougie Shears.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Lucy (Diane Steinberg), the vamp who's got it all, sings the opening lines of this classic.

FVB's Mantra. This is what startup at Microsoft must sound like! Nice choice for a system startup sound.

Sgt. Pepper Special. Ahh, the days of the variety show. This is the announcer. They actually shot this scene at Don Kirshner's Rock Concert. (Really! It's in the credits.)

Maxwell's Silver Hammer. Steve Martin is HILARIOUS in this scene (this was back in his "Wild and Crazy" 70's period). Worth the purchase or rent of the VHS alone!

FVB. George Burns fortells what will become of us (and the democratic process) if we follow faceless corporations (see Mantra).

Because. Only Alice Cooper can sing this song and make it his own. Demented, yet great!

Superstars-Stop. Don't we all wish we'd get a telegram like this? We'll maybe not all, but I sure wish I would!

Get Back. Billy Preston gets you back to where you once belonged.

Now Your Gonna Get It. The computerettes get cute. Another good system sound.

B.D. Loves You. Another telegram from the powers that be.

Big Disco. Another variety show intro, this one from B.D. TV.

The Big Screen. The computerettes tell the Band how to turn them on!

Bizness. The misspelling is theirs, not mine! FVB gets tough on Mustard.

Come Together. Aerosmith tellin' it like it is

Computerized link. Another cute system sound from George Burns (good for "restart")

Dirty Old Man. Just like it says. Use it as you wish!

Fixing a Hole. For those of you who aren't frightened by this movie yet, listening to George Burns covering this Beatle classic should do the trick.

Good Morning. Wake up to the Bee Gees every morning when you install this as your startup sound!

Mothra. Steve Martin screams like this Creature-Double-Feature fave when confronted with the Band!

Shocked. Mr. Kite tells of Billy's zapped-ness.

Handsome Young Corrupt People. More warnings about the evils of corporate monoliths

Take Over Heartland. Another order from Microso....I mean FVB.

Wahahaha. Steve Martin is on a roll. You'll laugh til you cry.

Wake Up! The computerettes are Mustard's alarm clock! Make them yours, too!

The Long and Winding Road. By Request. Billy waxing melancholy over Strawberry's death, not a bad cover.

If you have any special requests, or again, if you experience any trouble, please feel free to mail them to me by pressing the envelope below, and I'll help much as I can. Enjoy!

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