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gay drudge

XXXXX FUDGE PACKER REPORT XXXXX THU JULY 09, 2006 10:09:35 ET XXXXX


THE REPUBLICAN PARTY: MORE QUEER THAN A $3 BILL

When I first moved to Southern California in the Summer of 1997, it was difficult to meet new people whom I could trust. People always wanted you for something different than it appeared to be. Such is the case when I strolled into a Starbucks in West Hollywood. I noticed a redneck looking man, in his late twenties or early thirties, staring at me like a dog stares at a bone. It was a friendly stare that didn’t really scare me, but made me sort of uncomfortable. The man quietly came up to me and introduced himself as “Matt.” Since I wasn’t into Internet surfing at the time, I had no idea it was Matt Drudge, the man who would soon become the Jesus Christ figure of the right wing religious gossip fanatics. He was very curious about me. He first asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I answered no, he asked me what I was doing in West Hollywood that day. I told him I was visiting a friend, whom he automatically assumed was a guy. When I told him it was a girl, he had a sad look on his face. He told me that he has a popular Internet site which he was looking for people to help him run. I was desperate for money at the time and took immediate interest. He bought me a cup of coffee and invited me back to his apartment. I wasn’t sure of his exact motives, but knew he wasn’t harmful and could easily defend myself. Needless to say, when I got back to his apartment, my suspicions about his motives became true as he started rubbing my shoulder. I immediately ran out his door as he screamed, “Asshole!” Six months later, Matt Drudge broke the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal on his Internet site, The Drudge Report. He rapidly became a pioneer in news reporting. No longer did a writer need to get approval from an editor in order to reach millions of people. Matt Drudge proved that you can ruin people’s lives at the click of a mouse. He was a central figure in the new era of McCarthyism that took place when the false war in Iraq started by smeering everybody that was against Bush. However, his biggest pet peeve wasn’t Democrats; it was those awful homosexuals that were sodomizing our nation. How ironic, since Drudge is a queer himself!

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Filed By Hazmatt Sludge
(c)SLUDGE REPORTS
Not for reproduction without permission of the author

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