||I was so shocked when I found out that I was pregnant with Justin. I was 3 months at the time and I was thinking oh no I hope it's not like the last one. But then again I was so happy my husband and I were together at the time, I got pregnant with Justin. But it wasn't my husband's baby and at that time I didn't know what to do. So I didnt tell my husband I was pregnant,( you see my husband cheated on me )and thats when i started seeing this other guy and when my husband found out he filed for a divorce and sure enough we got a divorce. I started seeing this other guy and got pregnant. The baby was his and he always talked about wanting children ,until I told him I was pregnant. He turned on me, it was like he had done a 180 degree circle and started treating me like a slave and beat on me( because even though my ex husband were divorced we still talked and were friends and he got jealous). He started to beat on me and i tried to leave and he wouldn't let me. He tried to poison me and when I would talk to my ex on the phone he would scream and yell and he ripped the cord out of the wall and tried to tie it around my neck and choke me with it. He even tried to slice my wrists with a steak knife. So one day when he was gone at work I called my ex husband and told him what was going on and he told me to get out of there. I asked him where I was going to go and he said I could stay with him at his mothers house. I took him up on his offer and left. When I got there he was there with open arms, we laughed and cried and held each other. I told him about Justin and he said not to worry, I'll take care of him. I don't want that jerk in his life I'm his daddy. We planned on getting remarried and being a family or so I thought. Thats when it hit me something was wrong. So I went to the doctor because I had been cramping so bad I was doubled over . I found out that I had, had another miscarriage. I lost Justin 1/26/02 at 4:30pm, a month before my husband and I got married. My husband and I are remarried now and we are doing great, but there is not a day that goes by that we don't think of Mkayla and Justin. We love and miss them so much and maybe someday we will get to have a child, but until then we will just live for God because He knows what is best and He knows what is in store for us.