Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. In no way am I recognizing them as my own.
Title: Think of Laura
Rating: R for sexual situations
Keywords: Luke/Laura Romance
Summary: What should've happened after the scene at the bar where Laura sees Luke dancing with Felicia.
Comment: Scotty, though loves Laura, is in this story for the most part, like a best friend. He can look at her and just laugh, very different from how it turned out through 2000-2001. They can be best friends, and that’s all.
After Felicia’s Testimony
Laura wore her hair completely down, thick with large curls. She wore a dress much like the one she wore in Canada when Luke and Lucky put on masks and scared the hell out of her. She missed that. She missed being crazy and silly like she was then. And she missed them. Now it was all blown to pieces. They’d tried for years to pick them all back up, but it was impossible to repair each lost piece. Maybe this was the best she could hope for.
She walked out the door, and walked of course to the bar. She ordered a drink, but pretty soon, the tears started rising from her throat, and spilled over her eyes. She continued drinking, looking for a guy to pick up. She remembered Luke. She remembered little parts, little things they'd done together, and she placed her head on the counter. A pair of warm arms came around her.
She looked up and there was Mac. He'd come to save her again.
"Hi, Mac," she said, wiping her tears.
He sat down next to her.
"Trying to cover the pain, I admire ya."
"Yeah, a full glass and an empty heart, and you?” She smiles a little. “I'm divorced," she said. “Or I sure as hell will be.”
"Hey, how about that, I'm getting a divorce as soon as possible. It’s amazing how much you can know someone as a best friend, and convince yourself that you still know them when you’re in love with them. But I guess you don’t."
"I still see Luke the way we used to be, but I know he's not."
"Tell me," he said, ordering his own drink, but basing his entire attention on her.
"I don’t know…I guess for the last few years, I've been holding on to what Luke and I used to have. I know it probably doesn't please you to hear how wonderful Luke was to me for awhile. I mean, God, I don't need to bore you with this."
"No, you need to say it, and I care about you, Laura. Very much. I want to hear everything you have to say. Anything. Anything you want to tell me, I am honored to hear. I care."
She smiled, and then her smile turned into a sob.
"God, I was so stupid. I don't know what's right anymore. I mean, nineteen years is pretty good for everyone else in this town, but it was supposed to last forever. Luke used to cook for me, and when we were on the run for the hundredth time, I learned finally. But I miss the way he'd bring me breakfast and make me laugh so hard. I miss him."
She placed her head back on the table, and he hugged her.
"I just wanted it to last, because it was the best time of my life!"
"I know, Laura. But you will live again. And Luke was an idiot."
“I wasn’t a saint, I loved another man, I planned my life with another man but…I couldn’t quite do it.”
She turned to him and touched his face. "Mac, I care about you too. And I am so sorry for all the pain that has happened to you."
Mac smiled, caressing her cheek for a few seconds. "Did I tell you how beautiful you are?"
"Oh right, thank you. I have mascara smeared all over, tell me, do I have my famous black tears streaming down my face."
"Your eyes glow, and no, I don’t see mascara on you, I see the truth. Something both of us have apparently been deprived of. You don’t ever hide what you’re feeling or what you’re thinking. You are the only person I’ve met who is this real.”
“I’m not real, I’m insane.”
“Come on, let me take you somewhere."
He pulled her from her seat and helped her walk out the door.
"Where are we going?"
"To your house," he said calmly.
She thought about protesting, but what was the point.
"All right," she said, in a tiny voice.
"Oh Laura, you have so much depth, so much inside of you."
He kissed her softly. His hands held her face, as his lips nipped hers and his fingers whipped her tears. She pushed off his jacket and pulled him close to her. He very slowly, as if fearful, and pushed the dress down, exposing her shoulders. He pushed her over to the pillows, and held her. He stopped kissing her.
"I can't deny how much I want you, but I don't want to be a regret, I'm not asking for anything, except to not be a regret."
"That could never happen," she said softly.
Within minutes, they were both completely naked, and he had wrapped her in the sheets. He kissed her like he wanted her, and she kissed him back, wanting him as much. They fell to the floor, her body still against his, naked, her flawless skin so seductive underneath his fingers. They made love as the fire burned in the background, and they were both becoming damp with the passion. His hands found her round breasts, kissing her throat. Her fingernails scraped his back lightly. His hands caressed her body, then gripped the back of her head, running his hands threw her blonde hair. On the floor, in between the sheets, he looked at her, the droplets of condensation over both of their bodies, the light in the background seeming to dim, and he fell in love with her face. So real, so true, so full of depth. So much life in her, that he had never found in Felicia. Felicia had always wanted someone else. He pulled Laura into his arms, and made love to her.
She tilted her head back as she felt him become a part of her. The sheets tangling them, and she hadn't felt this safe in a long time. Afterwards, they were both exhausted, but at peace, and with love. He pulled her up and placed her in bed, covering her warmly, holding her, feeling for the first time he had made love to someone.
Laura woke up feeling refreshed, but tired from the alcohol. She felt strong arms around her, and they were Mac's. She smiled and rested again, then heard the door open. There was Luke.
"Laura," he said with disbelief.
"Yeah," she said calmly, making sure she was covered, but not making it a big issue.
Laura didn't even mind how much Mac was enjoying giving Luke a taste of his own medicine. She couldn't deny she was enjoying it herself. She knew what Luke's next move was, so she got herself in front of Mac. He put his arms around her, and she smiled.
"Laura, you have absolutely lost your mind."
"What an interesting question," she replied.
Laura rolled her eyes as she unmistakably heard Felicia's annoying voice. Could this day get any better?
"Luke, did you find-oh my God."
Laura didn’t feel ashamed, but felt slightly embarrassed that anyone was viewing this in the first place.
"Mac, what are you doing? Laura."
"Oh Felicia, forgive me. It meant nothing. I was hysterical last night and I needed a friend. Mac came to me, and he stayed with me until he was sure I was okay."
Laura through that line back at Felicia.
"And you had the nerve to say all the things you said to me, Felicia. How does it feel?"
"Laura, that's enough," Luke said.
"Oh you know what, Luke? Why don't you, take Felicia and go. I don't need this any longer. I don’t need to feel guilty for everything anymore. You wanted Felicia, you have her now."
"And you wanted Mac?"
"More than anything."
"Mac, how could you do this to our girls?"
"What he did? Excuse me Felicia, but you left your family more than once to get it on with my husband. Then you had the nerve to tell me he wasn't even really my husband? Tell me something, how married to Mac, are you?"
Felicia turned away, Luke tried to reach for Felicia.
"Go on, Luke. And please, go ahead and walk out the door, I finally want you to.”
“Laura, you’re being ridiculous,” Luke said.
Laura wasn’t affected. “Mac, did Felicia tell you she still loved you?"
Laura looked innocently at Mac. "How many times did you witness Luke and Felicia together after the trial?"
"Almost everytime I turned around," Mac said.
"Really? So did I. I went to the bar, and he was dancing with her. When he saw me, he walked over, gave me a drink, went back to her, and then said that if SHE was uncomfortable, she was welcome to leave. Now I guess, we all have what we want. Luke, look at this beautiful woman you have fallen for."
Luke looked at Felicia, Laura said he’d “fallen for her”, he never quite saw it that way. He needed her, she was a beautiful person to him who looked at him like he wasn’t the biggest idiot in the world, but “fallen for”?
Anger rose in Luke, and Felicia stormed out.
"So what, Laura, this was payback?" Luke said.
"Excuse me," she said. "Did I call you? Did I plan for you to show up? Did I plan for Felicia to show up? No, that's just a happy coincidence, isn't it, Luke. So go, go comfort her, take her back to that hotel."
"Laura, stop, I never knew you to be this cruel."
"Me...cruel? I beg your pardon, but if you’d like to set up another time when we can rehash who did what, fine, but right now, I’m asking you to leave. I finally am. Get out."
He turned and left. She turned back to Mac.
"Thank you, Mac. You keep giving me this hope, in myself, and you are not a regret. Even if Luke and Felicia hadn't showed up, I would have been just as sure."
He kissed her. "I better go, Laura, but I want to see you again."
Just then, Scotty came through the door.
"Ho, I apologize, I'm turning around."
Laura let out a huge giggle. "Scotty, wait!"
He turned around, smiling at her. "That explains Luke leaving so pissed. Nicely done!"
Scotty ran to her, giving her a high five. She laughed again. “Nicely done, Mac."
"Excuse me, Scotty-"
"No, Laura," Scotty said. "I'm just proud of you. Finally gave him what he deserved. I'm leaving, see you soon."
Scotty left, and Laura looked at Mac. They fell back against the pillows and burst out laughing. He caressed her hair, then down her shoulder. He kissed her one last kiss, and got up. Their date was over, but it had given her everything they wanted. And she had wanted him.
Scotty burst through Luke's door. Luke wasn't to happy to see him of course.
"Spencer, you have absolutely no brain. I think your ego has sucked out all the energy for one remaining brain cell."
"Thank you Baldwin, are we done?"
"No, we're just getting started."
Scotty plopped down in the chair.
"You know, ever since Laura left me for you, I always thought there was something I'd done wrong, that I wasn't good enough. But now I see, I loved her more than you ever did."
"And how do you figure that," Luke said.
"Because I still love her, I still respect her, and you don't."
"You don't know what I'm feeling."
"I think I do. You're angry that she's moved on. That she doesn't need you. I'm so glad I was the one she came to, for filing the divorce. I was lucky enough to be the one to comfort her in the beginning, but now, she has Mac. She's a beautiful, brilliant woman, that you never respected."
"Oh!!! Oooh, you're pushing it."
"You...you slept with Felicia? One word. Why?"
"I don't need this," Luke said, standing up.
"You know what, I think you do. You were married to my wife for nineteen years. Hey, why didn't I contest the divorce a week ago? Laura is still my wife."
"The hell she is."
"Well she sure as hell isn't yours."
Luke walked out the door, and Scotty mentally patted himself on the back.
End of Part 1
"Laura, open the damned door! I know you're in there!"
Laura walked to the door. She opened it, and he almost punched her in the face from pounding so hard.
"All right, dammit," he said, pushing her back into the house. "What is the matter with you? You don't care for Mac! You used him to get to me!"
"Really," she said cheerfully.
"You're pissing me off!"
"Oh, and I was having a ball the day in court when Felicia gave her testimony. You know, I learned something lastnight-"
"Oh enough about last night!"
"Then what do you need? Felicia?"
"Felicia has nothing to do with this-"
“I beg your pardon,” Laura said.
“She doesn’t, not right now. This conversation needs to exclude Felicia and Vlad, he’s dead anyway, because a talk is not only a good thing, we need it.”
She smiled. "Well, I don't need you. You don't love me, you never loved me! And that explains how you could take one look at another married blonde and seduce her away from her husband! Is that what you do? You find a beautiful blonde woman who loves her husband and seduces her away from her life?"
"Felicia," she said slowly. "Jesus Luke. At least Stefan was there for me when I thought you were dead, and he loved me. And I never touched him until you had left and not let me know where you were or if you were ever coming back. How could you say you loved me, and call me your angel, leave and then sleep with her? And then of course stand here and make it my fault."
"I don't...I don't know."
"Well, when you finally figure it out, I won't be waiting for the answer. You have what you wanted. You have a divorce, you can now have Felicia."
"I don't...want that."
"Then what do you...no, I'm not interested."
She turned her back and walked away from him, he stomped after her.
"You know exactly what I want!"
She turned around, smiling. "Not really."
"Laura, did you know you’re not only stubborn, you miss the point?”
Her long hair swirled around her and her blazing eyes looked at him disbelievingly. She missed the point? Where the hell was he when she told him over and over that she loved him, but what…dared to love her son? He tried to touch her and she pulled away. He reached for her again and caught her arm, making her gasp at the slight pain.
"Stop Luke. Our lives are over, you've made that clear for the last two years."
"Do you think it will ever be over? You told me that."
Tears grew in her eyes but she remained furious. "You said it was over! You told the world we were getting a divorce-"
“Excuse me! You asked for it first!”
“Only after two years of you never coming home, how silly of me, what, another three years and then you’d forgive me?” Luke, please stop."
He did. He let her go. She turned to him.
"I don't deserve this," she stated. "You hurt both my sons so badly. Lucky had no right to be as angry at you as he was, but Nikolas! How could you do that to me? You didn't think sleeping with Felicia would hurt me enough? Then you had to kidnap my son and almost kill him-"
"I would never kill him! I would never hurt your son! I was trying to help OUR son. It was all an act. I would never hurt you. Or Nikolas."
"Never hurt me,” she said, blinking innocently. “That's all you've done."
She blinked. "Yes!"
He lunged forward and grabbed her face with his hands.
“Ow,” she said softly. “I hate to be the one to tell you, but you left, and you can’t just pop back in because you’re mad at me but now we’re divorced so the lack of control kills you. The hold that you had over me to keep the guilt alive can maybe lesson.”
She placed her hands over his, remembering she wanted it to be real, even just a few days ago, but knowing it wasn't.
"Luke, I didn’t deserve this," she said, turning from him.
He didn't let go of her face, and pulled her back towards him and jerked her so she was looking at him.
"I loved you in a way I never loved anyone."
"But you stopped," she said.
"Excuse me, I thought the vows were until death do us part. Not till Felicia do us part. Or is it going to be my lies, my deceit, my son, my affair twenty years ago or my affair last year? Pick one, and by all means, make it my fault."
"All right, all right! I know that it’s not all your fault but is it so inconceivable to me that perhaps I didn’t want you to love the man that saved you when I couldn’t? And if you still loved him, did you think I didn’t try and save you? It was hell for you and there was someone there that wasn’t me to help you! And you left because you still loved him."
Laura's mouth dropped open. "You idiot! Where did I go? I was right there. Right in front of you. I never would’ve been with Stefan, I never would’ve gone back to loving him if you hadn’t left and made it clear you couldn’t stand the sight of me. I'm sitting at the bar with Mac and you and Felicia come out half dressed, her make-up smeared."
"I didn't sleep with her-"
"What? That time? But you would have!"
"I never touched her the way I touched you."
Laura yanked Luke’s hand off of her. "You remember when you saw me return from the dead?"
"You were wearing a black skirt, and a blue suit. Your hair was long, and shining, and that was all I saw as you walked away from me. Your mascara had run just a little below your eyes, but God you were gorgeous. I ran down as fast as I could, believing you wouldn't be there, that it was just another illusion, but you were there. You were there."
"Maybe I shouldn’t have been.” She sighed. “God, you know, so much of the time I hate you. You just lie to me, you do anything you can to hurt me, and then you say something like that and I am caught somewhere between my own love and hate."
He walked towards her again. "I know. Even when we're apart, when you walk into a room, I have to catch my breath because I need you so much."
"I didn't go anywhere! You didn't have to leave me! I begged you not to for years."
"We've been apart so long I don't even remember why we separated."
She smiled a little. "That's the truth. And I think you were right, the exact reason isn’t right because I don’t think it was one thing. I think it was all of it. Maybe no marriage could’ve survived it all."
He caressed her face with the back of his hand. “But we expected it to.”
“I think you did in the beginning, but I didn’t do exactly what you wanted, I guess. But I honestly don’t wanna place blame, I just would appreciate a little bit of this being on your shoulders. Do not make it all because of my mistakes.”
“I don’t think I can. Your mistakes at least had a reason, I don’t particularly enjoy thinking about most of the stuff I’ve done.”
Her mouth opened slightly, and he leaned in to kiss her. As she pulled back, he grabbed her face and crushed his lips to hers. The kiss was intense, sensual, and left her breathless and bruised.
Laura took hold of his hands, and took them off of her face. She looked at him very seriously, yet without hatred. She left.
After running a few errands, Laura opened the door to her house, and nothing could've surprised her for what she saw. She dropped her bag of groceries.
Her mouth dropped open. "Stefan," she said disbelieving.
A small part of her wanted to fly into his arms, if not for the fact that because of him, her marriage and life as she knew it were over. Not because she’d loved him or that she had been with him, but because he died, forcing the rest of the ugliness to come out into the open. And she hated him for it. She ran over to him and started beating her clenched fists against his chest and cried.
"Where the hell have you been? Don't you know my life is over because you ran away! Don't you know what you have done? You have messed up my life and I...I hate you. Was that part of getting even?"
He grabbed her fists and she crumbled to the floor. He slid down with her, holding her. She cried on his shoulder, remembering how much he had been her heart and soul on the Cassadine island, how she had grown attracted to him and how much she had loved him. He knew a part of her no one else did.
"Laura, I'm sorry, I know."
"It's a long story, you know I hate your, but I wasn't aware of the trial. I hate Spencer all the more. I honestly wanted him to stay in prison awhile."
"Yeah yeah, but my...my life...my SON!"
"Lucky or Nikolas?"
"Both. Now the whole world knows what an idiot I am."
"You deserve so much better," he said, cupping her face, forcing her to look at him.
Unstoppable tears spilled from her sapphire eyes. He leaned in and kissed her softly. Not too romantically, but enough to know his feelings had not changed. Hers had though. If he hadn't disappeared, Luke might still...it didn't matter now.
"Stefan, please stop."
"Do you still think about the island?"
"All the time," she replied.
"Did you doubt then how much I loved you?"
"No, but this is a difficult time for me, and it was over for us the minute I left that island and came back."
"But he doesn't deserve you! I don't deserve you now, but I just want to make sure you're okay."
Laura realized then she didn’t even want to know why, or what happened. Why he was dead and if he framed Luke…of course he framed Luke.
"Please, Stefan, just go. I can't even take your explanation right now."
"Laura, I was with you for two years, I know I don’t deserve your trust but you didn’t ask for it then, but I will still be here."
"If you had loved me, you would've helped me-"
"Save Luke? While he was trapped with Felicia, and you know they weren't feeling anything romantically at that point-"
"STOP! Please, how can you say that to me now?" That wasn’t even what she was going to say in the first place!
He couldn't believe what had slipped from his lips. "Laura, forgive me. I am sorry. I'll go now, but I won't be far."
Two hours later, Laura was in a very deep sleep, when a hand came down on her shoulder. She quickly sat up from the covers and saw Monica Bard Quartermaine. She flew into her arms.
"Oh Monica! I have missed you so much."
"Shh, Laura, I am here."
Laura pulled back, wiping her face. "Emily, she's back. I am so glad. Is she all right?"
"She's safe now, but she has a connection to her kidnapper I don't understand. How are you?"
Laura smiled and looked down. Monica sat down on the bed.
"Stupid question, I know. Well, would you like to hear how many times Alan cheated on me?"
"I know, thank you," Laura laughed.
"And how many times I cheated on him?"
"I know that too," Laura said, remembering Monica and her father's affair.
"But we're still here today, and we've been married and divorced several times. There will always be another chance for you and Luke. Always, because you two look at each other in a way no one else has ever looked at anyone. And if it doesn’t, then you will have had one hell of an adventure and pretty soon, you both are going to remember the good times more strongly than the bad. And you will remember that."
Monica pressed Laura's face into her chest, holding her, caressing her long blonde hair.
"Well, Barbara Jean, how are you?"
Bobbie walked in, wearing a tight blue, low cut shirt that showed off her full breasts, and a short black skirt, showing off her legs. She was full of fury.
"I am fine, but you are suffering from losing in your own butt kicking contest!"
"What is the matter with you? You are married for nineteen years, then you find Felicia, my best friend, and you screw around with her!"
"Barbara, I'm not in the mood-"
"Oh you are gonna have to be! That's it! You will stop hurting my best friend and Laura. Laura deserves better than this, and so does Felicia! What were you thinking? Did you fall out of love with Laura?"
"That's not it!"
"You are lying. What you are really so lost about is that Laura had a child with someone else, and that someone else might've been a man you hate, but you only hate him because he was there for Laura when you weren't-"
"That's enough, Bobbie!"
He moved away from her but she pulled him back.
"You were upset that someone else was holding your wife! And apparently Stefan’s alive, and went to Laura first. If he can still love her, then I say for her to go for it! If this is the way you're going to treat her, you never deserved her."
"Yeah well, it looks like Laura has Mac!"
"Felicia and I walked in on them together!"
Bobbie's big brown eyes widened even more. She couldn't believe it.
"Laura, did something like that?"
"Yes," Luke said angrily.
"Laura slept with…Mac?"
"Hey! Laura's confused, and upset."
"Oh, so now you're defending her?" Bobbie said, amazed that Luke was acting as though she was betraying Laura.
"Can you blame her?"
Bobbie smiled. "That's the first sensible thing you've said in years. She was the best thing you ever had and you chose to play, when you had it all. You had what I never had, you loved someone that much, and she loved you back. I never had the look back, so you can go to hell."
Luke looked away. "Look, you don't know what you're talking about-"
"I know exactly what I'm talking about! Your ego couldn't handle the fact that Laura might feel something for someone besides you! Although she's obviously hurt my best friend, YOU deserved it!"
Bobbie stormed out, headed for Laura's.
End of Part 2
"Monica, you are the strongest woman in the world. You have always been an influence to me."
"Oh honey, I'm so much older than you, and I know what you're going through, but you and Luke-"
"There is nothing!"
"You wanna know how many times I've said that about Alan? He's a pathetic pig sometimes, but we always find our way to stand each other again, and so will you."
"You know, I haven't been single since I was sixteen. Maybe it would be nice. Although it's a little late to start. But you know I never thought it would happen to me and Luke."
Monica held her. Then her beeper went off.
"Oh, Laura, I love you, but this is so important. It's a young girl at the hospital, Melissa-"
"Oh yes, yes I remember her. Go, I know."
Monica grabbed Laura so she was facing her.
"I am here, you call me, we'll go out and talk about how stupid our husband's are!"
Laura laughed. "You got a date."
"Bye sweetie, you take care of yourself!"
Laura fell back against the pillows, the tears spilling over her face, as she stared out the window, trying to remember what used to be. She then began to moan in her own tears, the moans turned to sobs, then turned angrier. She stood up, barely able to see let alone walk, and she threw the photos on the dresser to the floor, watching the glass break into tiny pieces, and the sunset outside. She stood there, very calmly, as the tears slipped.
"I hate you,” she whispered. “I hate everything I tried to do to make it better! I hate everything I thought I was and I thought I felt because it's all WRONG!"
"Laura, Laura come here!"
Laura turned to a pair of warm arms. She pressed her face into someone's warm chest, crying loudly. She could recognize Bobbie's breathy princess voice anywhere. Why was Bobbie finally being so good to her? Why did Bobbie now choose Laura?
"Bobbie...Felicia...she must be hurting..."
"I went to her, she's with her children."
Laura cried, wrapping her arms weakly around Bobbie. "What did I do wrong? Which specific thing made the rest for nothing?"
"Don't start that, Laura, you deserve better!"
"Everyone you've ever had. I always hated you but maybe the love I saw you have wasn’t worth the price."
Laura looked up into Bobbie's brown eyes.
"You know what I've done," Laura said shaking.
Bobbie nodded. "I feel for Felicia, but it's not like Felicia didn't tear your heart apart. Luke and you still had a chance."
"No we didn’t-“
“You didn’t if you were anyone else, but you were one in a lifetime.”
“And now we aren’t-"
"Shhhh, it's okay."
Laura pulled back again. "Did you want Luke and Felicia together? It would work, your best friend and your brother..."
"Yeah Laura, it would've worked, except for two small problems. Luke doesn't love her. Luke loves you."
"Can you see that's a little hard for me to understand right now? I know Felicia is your best friend, but she's nothing like me! That's probably why she's your best friend and you hate me-"
"So how could he blame me for Stefan when he would go right out and do the same thing?"
"Because his head is too far up his own ass right now that he doesn't know what's real, but oh, he will. After all our arguments in the late seventies, remember that you were always the winner. You always won."
There was a knock on the door. Scotty opened it. Bobbie turned back to Laura.
"Speaking of," she said and they laughed. "Laura, make Luke sorry. Go for it! Take advantage of the people who love you! I'm gonna go, but I mean it, stop feeling guilty, and use your life."
Bobbie left the room quietly, and Scotty looked at her with genuine concern, before walking towards her, opening his arms. She gladly walked into him, remembering that at seventeen, there was no more of a perfect man than he, and that she still felt safe around him. "Scotty," she breathed.
He tipped her face up to his. "I wanted to tell you that I really admire you for all you did, Laura. I know you care for Mac, but to let Spencer see you, that was wonderful. Doesn't getting even ease the pain temporarily?"
She smiled. "You were always so good to me," she said.
"No I wasn't."
"All right, you weren't always, but I couldn't see how much you were willing to give me."
"Yes you did. I knew you loved me, I just couldn't give you what you needed. I had no idea, but even if I had, I wasn't..." he trailed off.
"Yeah," she said. "But now, things are so different."
He looked at her a little surprised. He leaned in and gently kissed her. It was a soft kiss, and all they wanted was to stay right in that moment. No movement, just feeling. Finally, he tried to embrace her, and kiss her more deeply. She allowed him at first, but when they reached the bed, she stopped.
"Scotty," she said.
"I am sorry, Laura. I know-"
"No, no. It's not that I don't want it, it's not that I don't want you, but you were the only person in my whole life who called me a tramp, other than Bobbie anyway, and I don't want you to be right. Last night, I was in bed with another man. I don't want to think of myself that way. I don’t want to make other people right anymore."
"I would take back those words in a second, Laura. I just wanted you so much that when you didn't want me, I didn't take it very well. It took me...I actually never found a love like you, but I was so lucky to have you in your youth."
"You had me," she said.
"Would you like to go out to dinner, tomorrow?"
Bobbie listened in the hallway, thrilled that she could now go tell her idiot brother how wonderful Scotty was being to Laura.
End of Part 3
Felicia's long blonde hair was placed up in two braided pig tails. She had tears streaking down her face, and it was at this moment, she wished Frisco were here. He had left her. He had loved her, he had! But not enough. No one had ever loved her enough after Frisco didn’t.
Bobbie came through the door and hugged Felicia. Felicia cried in her best friend's arms.
"Oh, Bobbie, she slept with Mac. Laura slept with Mac. How could she?"
Felicia cried. Bobbie understood Felicia and held her best friend, the best friend who had been there for her. Bobbie never let Laura get too close, but off and on Bobbie knew Laura was as loyal as anyone. Felicia was like her though, she screwed up and reached for the unreachable, yet tried her best to do what she could.
"He's on his way to check on Laura," Felicia said.
"She's with..." Bobbie said to herself, forgetting Felicia was there.
"Someone else? Stefan? It doesn’t matter, I don’t wanna know, but she actually stood there and said things to me-"
Bobbie thought about siding with Felicia, but Felicia wasn't right. Felicia was the one who pushed Laura until she felt completely useless and Felicia had no grounds to stand on. Luke and Laura had twenty years, and even if it was over, Felicia’s words should never have been spoken.
"Felicia, you know I love you, but Laura isn't married. And neither is Mac."
"How can you defend her? She doesn't love Luke, how could she blame him when she was with Stefan-"
"She DOES love Luke, that may be her problem. She is the only one that has ever loved Luke! I don’t care what you blame her for, she loved him. She screwed up, she joined the rest of us. Are you telling me you want Luke?"
"I don't know."
"Do you love Mac?"
"I do, but Luke...I love Mac, I do, but he's made it clear it's over."
"And it's over for Luke and Laura for the moment, so if you want, you go after Luke, but I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you love him, that you were right to leave your family for some time with him, and you tell me you know he loves you the way he loves Laura."
Felicia pulled back, anger in her face.
"Laura doesn't deserve him. Laura kicked him out of the house more times than I could count-"
"To protect her children!"
"They're his children! Most of them."
Bobbie licked her lips. Even Felicia didn’t mean this, she was just trying to make this not her fault. "Felicia, my brother is always involved in danger. It's a part of him, Laura was doing the exact same thing I would do. She loved him and brought him home, and she never wanted him to leave again."
Felicia looked away.
"Honey," Bobbie said soothingly. "You did sleep with Luke. You did come on to Luke in front of Laura, you told her that she didn't have him. That she never knew him. Now she has been with Mac. Once. Is wanting Luke now more about Luke, or about hurting Laura back?"
"What are you, Bobbie? Who are you! You are my best friend! You know how I feel about Luke-"
"Yes, I know he's a great friend, someone you can let yourself go around, someone you can be attracted to, but you wanted Mac back. You said coming out with the truth would destroy Mac, and it did. So now you want Luke back?"
Felicia turned away. "He always made me forget my pain."
"He wasn't that way with Laura. You know their history, sweetie, you know that even if Luke had told you a thousand times he loved you, it would never be the way he loved and loves Laura. Yes, they're divorced, but they still love each other.”
Bobbie reached and caressed Felicia’s face. “I love you, and I don't want your heart broken. Let him go. He is NEVER going to love you the way he loved Laura. Let it go."
Felicia's big blue eyes stared into Bobbie's. "He never told me he loved me. And now I don't have Mac, the girls are mad at me, I don't have Luke, and you are taking Laura's side!"
Bobbie clutched Felicia to her. "I know how you feel. But I couldn't stand here and not tell you the truth. Laura and I weren't always friends, but I knew that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Laura loved him, and fine, she lied, she betrayed him, welcome to the world. But I don’t want you to think you have a chance because you will fail, and if telling you the truth can keep you from trying, I will."
"Now my husband is sleeping with her."
"I'm so sorry. I love you, and you didn’t deserve this either."
"Just stay with me, Bobbie. Just stay."
"Of course," Bobbie said kissing her forehead.
Four Days Later
Scotty took Laura out to dinner. Scotty saw Luke and Bobbie in a far table. Laura didn't see though. She sat down with Scotty, and together they pretended they were the way they used to be. Always able to talk, and the way he made her laugh. Not the way Luke did, no one made her laugh the way Luke did. Luke taught her to laugh. But Scotty could say something with a straight face and could blow her away.
"You have given up cooking, right?"
Laura tossed a french fry at him. "Scotty! I learned how to cook, thank you. After many blown up ovens and dishes and overflowing pots and pans, after burning everything I put my hands on, yes, I learned to cook."
Scotty was face towards Luke who was watching them carefully, not his dinner date. Could Laura’s taste be any worse? Stefan and now…Scotty? They both just wanna pick up where they both left off with his wife? Well, she wasn't his wife, but he hadn't gotten used to calling her his ex. He saw Laura laugh and grab Scotty's hand. A spasm of pain came over his face.
Scotty saw Luke's face, and touched Laura's, just to push Spencer's over the edge. Bobbie saw Luke's disturbed face, and turned. She knew exactly what Luke was upset about. She turned back, and Luke had already stood up, ready to kill. He ran over and pulled Scotty up from his seat by the throat.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Luke, let him go!"
Laura placed a hand on Luke's hand that was holding Scotty.
“Luke, let’s not relive twenty years ago. Give it a rest,” Bobbie said.
"She's right, Luke," Laura said. "We all got what was meant to be."
The manager of the restaurant came over, and forced Luke to let go. Bobbie placed supporting hands on him, and Laura saw that Scotty was all right. Luke thought about what she meant by that. He cared for Felicia, but she was more a way to survive, than a way to live.
"Come on, Luke."
Luke began to walk with Bobbie, and Laura watched, tears choking her. She looked back at Scotty.
"You saved me so many times. And I am so sorry for everything I did to you."
He pulled her close and they walked out together. She couldn't stop thinking about Luke. If only he hadn't stopped looking at her the way he had. The way he used to love her. Scotty walked her home, and talked to her about things she couldn't hear. She didn't hear anything but the pounding in her heart.
"Scotty, please listen to me. I don't regret one second that I have ever spent with you. You were my first love. I still love you. I will always. Just when I think I have nothing left, there you are."
He kissed her on the lips. "I haven't ever found anyone that completed me the way you did, but I know where your heart is. And tonight, it was proven to you that Luke feels the same way. I tell you I hadn't felt better in years than when I gave him the divorce papers, but, it hurt me so desperately to hand them to you. To know how much he was what you wanted-"
"No! He wasn't. And he's not tonight. You know I love you, I married you and I never regretted it."
He smiled and they walked inside her house. The next morning, Laura tried once again to cook, somehow feeling like that seventeen year old girl who couldn’t do anything but burn everything up. Laura over the years learned how to cook…some things.
In Canada, under a different identity, she could cook diner food. But once she came back to Port Charles, only a very few of her cooking skills remained, but she will never be a great cook. She laughed with Scotty as she cursed herself for screwing up a breakfast.
“Maybe I’m bad luck,” he smiled.
“For cooking maybe.”
Laura said pulling him to her for another kiss.
Outside of Luke’s Club
"Let go of me!"
"Laura, just, give me a break! You don't need to punish me with Baldwin or Vlad."
"Oh right! Everything is about you! The fact that he was only my first love, my husband, none of that matters! And Stefan, of course that was only about you, you are so paranoid."
"So what, now that you're rid of me you're just gonna go back to him?"
"Why should you care? It's not like you were alone! Wasn't Felicia with you?"
Luke looked away. "She stopped by and we were talking-"
"She just stopped by? Luke, don't make me be clever."
"Hey! I'm not going around sleeping with-"
"Oh, oh, you haven't slept with anyone while we were married! I at least had the brains to wait two years for you NOT to come home. God, you invited Felicia to that hotel room, hey, Scotty invited me to a hotel as also, but I didn't sleep with him-"
"Well tell me this, have you slept with him as well as Mac?"
Laura's eyebrows rised innocently. "Does it matter? You've got someone inside waiting for you. And so do I."
"Laura, I never thought it'd be really over."
She ran her fingers through her hair, irritated.
"Well, did you think you'd just go on wanting another woman and I would just keep being married to you? Is that what you wanted?"
"Excuse me, you were in love with another man long before I ever started seeing Felicia!"
"No, what you're saying is, you can tell me you love me and call me your angel, and sleep around on me and not forgive me, but after you've made it clear to me you don't want me anymore and I give you your way, I can't be with someone I am still in love with!"
"Oh shut up, Luke. You don't know anything. Scotty saved me so many times when I was too young and too stupid to know anything about anything, and he still is saving me. He still loves me."
"And what? You still love him?"
She pursed her lips. "Yes, I do. And you love Felicia, so you see? We all got we wanted in the end."
"Oh you know that's not true."
"Well then what is true?"
He put his hand over his mouth and looked up at the sky.
"Wonderful, well, this has been great, but you know I have someone waiting inside for me-"
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.
"If you think you're walking back in there, back into Scott Baldwin's arms, you are sadly mistaken."
He kissed her. Quickly though, she pulled back.
"Oh don't you even touch me."
"You heard me," she said through gritted teeth. She grabbed his hand harshly. "Is this the hand that held her, that made love to her?" She threw his hand down. "Are these the lips that kissed her? And then you dare to give me crap about loving another man years ago, and loving him again in this life?"
He was not having a good time. She covered her eyes with her hands.
"Laura, for God's sakes, stop would you?"
"I was so stupid. Luke, ever since we've been apart, I kept hoping that you would still love me. I kept hoping that you wanted me back because I wanted us back. But every time I turn around, I see what it is you always wanted. An unavailable blonde that is willing to give up everything for you!"
A tear slipped down her beautiful face.
"You wanted her because she's younger, unavailable, a way to escape, and...that's about it, isn't it? Oh, pardon me, it was the best sex of your life."
"Oh stop, Laura, it was ONE time!"
She leaned in close to him, pure hate on her face.
"You son of a bitch," she said in a low voice. "How dare you stand there and say that to me. How many times did I ask you if you were sleeping with her, and you told me that it was none of my business! No, of course. I was only your angel, your wife, you heart for twenty years. One time? One time. LUKE!"
"You liar. God, maybe our son was right when he wondered if you ever told the truth. You lied, you lied, you're still lying! And I was wanting us back, when there is no us! You know what the truth is?"
"What is the truth, Laura?"
She covered her mouth with her hand, and with barely shutting her eyes, the water spilled over her and collided down her cheeks.
"You don't love! You don't love anything. You like the challenge. I should think I was lucky, and I should be grateful, because I had you for twenty years. But you didn't want me, you wanted...I don't even know what you wanted-"
"You knew exactly what I wanted!"
She turned her body towards the door, and pointed.
"Felicia. Why didn't you just tell me you wanted her? Why didn’t you let me know from the beginning that you would never forgive my love for another man when I thought you were dead…and then how dare I love him again now? How in the hell do you justify that and make it my fault?"
He put his hands on his hips and tried to look everywhere but at her. Then his eyes met hers again.
"I don't...I don't know."
She nodded and cried. After a few seconds, she inhaled her tears.
"Please, Luke. You've lied to me since the first minute I met you, please just tell me why you kept me going on like that, why you tortured me."
"Because...I didn't want her."
He licked his lips and turned his eyes from her. She stopped crying, and tilted her head. Immediately though, she burst into a long, painful laugh. She moved her hands trying to speak. After many seconds, the laughing slowly turned into words.
"Oh, right," she laughed. "So while you didn't want her, you were chewing the buttons off her pants! It was fabulous sex in that hotel room. She's very beautiful, Luke. And you still can't keep away from her."
"What are you talking about?"
"She's inside there right now!" Laura screamed.
She gripped her head, opening her eyes wide in surprise at herself. She paced away from him, then back, then away from him again.
"I had this dream, Luke. I gave up everything for you, and what's awful is I don't regret all of it. I dreamed that we would die together. That we would be happy. That you would come back to me. I had this dream, that my life would never turn out this way. That dream I had though, I woke up from. It's so different now from what I thought it would be.”
He tried to touch her, he lightly tapped his hands on her shoulders, then tried to pull her to him.
"No, Luke. Please don't touch me. I don't want you to touch me when Mrs. Scorpio Jones is inside waiting for you. And Scotty, why didn't I just stay with him? I don't deserve him now. I didn't deserve him then. But he loves me. He really loves me. And I don't want to let that go."
He tried to force her to look at him, and finally she allowed him to make her. Her eyes looked at him with pain, and need, and regret.
"Remember everything we did?"
"I remember everything! It's you who's forgotten. The only thing you remember is my betrayals.”
Laura looked and saw Felicia standing there, listening.
"My ONE, affair, Felicia, with Stefan. Luke, in case you've forgotten, you were dead. I was being held prisoner on an island and every night I was raped. There was one person I could count on, and one night, I got away from Stravros's hands all over me, and felt something besides repulsion. You were dead. I wasn't dead. I wasn't even gone. You couldn't handle that I loved someone else."
"Laura Spencer," Luke yelled.
She turned back, her eyes black as evil. "Laura," she said in a low voice. "And we are finished with this conversation."
Six Weeks Later
Luke sneaked upstairs, inside Laura's house. He tiptoed to her bathroom, and listened. Luke knew he was still in love with Laura. He couldn't allow himself to think what Laura felt about him.
Luke dashed over and ripped the curtain so he could see her. She screamed so loud the hair that he was beginning to grow up blew a little. There was no one else in the shower.
"What...Jesus, Luke, what are you doing?"
She was still breathing hard.
"You're in here alone?"
She gave him a "duh" expression. "Do you see anyone else?"
"Then what the hell are you doing, I heard voices," he didn't finish, for he was feeling a little stupid.
"There’s a stereo on…"
She grabbed the shower curtain and wrapped it around her body.
"Well, Luke, now you know what's going on, and if you'll please get the hell out of my bathroom, I am getting cold."
He started to speak, and she slapped him.
"I know what you were going to say. Just go!"
He ripped the shower curtain off the railing, and she grabbed it, wrapping it more around her body.
She turned off the shower and began to shiver. She stepped out of the shower and walked towards the door. He fell back purposely against the door, keeping her from leaving.
He touched her face, and she leaned her head back, feeling that touch again.
"Luke," she said with an angry voice. "You told me you'd never come home again. Every night, I thought you would, but you never did. Now that I have my life, you want me back. I am saying no."
She stayed still. "Luke, take your hand off of my face. I still hate you so much. I will never be able to look at you, the same."
"You are now."
She frowned a cute frown. "What? By hating you?"
"Luke, I am getting ready to meet someone."
"Oh really, and who is that?"
"That does not concern you."
"I am not leaving until you put your arms around me and tell me you love me," he said seriously.
She smiled a little.
"Did you sleep with Scott?"
Laura rolled her eyes. "For the hundredth time, it's not YOUR business. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm standing her shaking, my hair is wet, it's snowing outside, I have only a towel and the curtain to my shower which you will be paying for! Will you excuse me please?"
He grabbed her arms and she screamed as he kissed her. She hated him, God she hated him. She'd slept with two people in the last seven weeks, and she felt really weird about it, and knowing Luke, he wouldn't expect to stop with a kiss. He used one hand to hold her face to continue kissing her, then opened the bathroom door with his other hand, dragging her to the bedroom.
"Luke...Luke...stop...dammit..." she said between moments when his lips crushed hers.
She plopped down on the bed from his force and he fell on top of her.
"Wait!" she said. "I don't want anyone thinking I'm some kind of "tramp" and I don't want you thinking I was leading you on because I'm not, get off of me, we're divorced, you're a pig, and I'm getting some clothes on."
She was putting clothes on, brushing her hair, and applying make up.
"I have two seconds to get myself out the door and make it to meet...dammit," she just blew it.
Luke walked over to her. "Go on, with whom have you slept with? Besides Mac?"
She pressed her hand in his chest, pushing him away from her.
"Just go! God, you're not going to get anywhere by driving me insane."
"I'll wait until you're through with whomever you're going to be with."
She looked at him. "Who said I was coming home tonight?"
Luke's eyes widened. "Laura, what is going on?"
"I'm taking after you! I'm going to get drunk, I'm going to sleep with whoever's available! You?"
"You're so crazy!"
She left. "I have loved other people besides you. When you weren't there, I had others who saved me. And I love them still. Now that you're gone, I'm going to enjoy the people I never gave a real chance."
He grabbed her arm. "Hold it."
"You are touching me inappropriately," she said slowly.
"Tell me it's not Stefan."
Laura pulled her arm away.
"Does it matter to you?"
"What are you so angry about?"
"I knew you wanted her! You two were never subtle. Stefan came to me on our search for Lucky. You were trapped behind the wall with her, and I begged Stefan to help me. He told me he loved and I didn't believe him! He was trying to spare me pain."
She began to fall.
"Laura," he said going to her.
She felt dizzy and nauseus, she had to get out. After blinking, she realized Luke's arms around her. She looked up at him plainly, then turned away and left.
Laura sat on the back porch, feeling the cool air of spring envelope her.
Laura jumped up and hugged her son.
"Hi, Mom. You look great."
"Oh, yeah, right. I haven't even brushed my hair, it's all up and-"
"Mom, you know you always look good. Come here, Mom," he said hugging her.
"Oh, Lucky..." she breathed. "I love you so much."
"Oh God, probably seeing the town. She still can't get enough of Port Charles. How's Elizabeth?"
"Oh, wonderful. I never loved anyone the way I love her. No one ever had our love...except you and dad."
Laura looked down, bowing her head.
Bobbie came around the corner with Lucas.
Bobbie walked over and hugged Laura, then Lucky, and Lucas ran to Lulu. Laura wasn't expecting this. Nikolas came with Elizabeth and Emily, and then Roy came, and Laura thought she would lose it. This was all a little too convenient.
After an hour of talking with everyone, she ran around to the front of the house, went through her own front door, shutting it behind her, banging her head against it. It slammed open against her head, and she screamed. She clutched her hand to her head, pulling the door open. Luke. Of course.
"Laura, my God, are you okay?"
"Great, never been better, you?"
He took her hands from her head.
"What are you doing?"
"Our whole family's out back, I was trying to get a minute alone! And I see that's not going to happen."
She went to the kitchen and that was when he noticed her for the first time in months.
"Laura, what happened to you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You're wasting away."
She turned around. "No, I’m not, I just look different."
He didn't want to hear that. "Why, are you sick?"
"No, I just...haven't been eating as much. I’m just not hungry anymore."
She turned to the counter. He noticed she was in a floating, light color dress. Her hair was up in a mess, but looked so beautiful to him. She took out a bottle of scotch and began to drink it, without even bothering to put it in a glass.
"Laura," he said startled.
She smacked her lips after the gulp. "What?"
He exhaled. She was obviously not having the best of times. He held out his hand to her. She looked at his hand, then at him.
"You wanna get out of here?"
She spoke to soon, because he'd grabbed her hand and was dragging her out of the house. He shoved her into his car, and they sped off. It was getting dark.
"Where are we going?"
"To the club."
"Oh, great," she said sarcastically.
"Have a better idea?"
"Yeah. British Columbia."
"Better idea, but that's a little easier said than done. I was thinking more about Jennifer Smith's sailboat."
She smiled a little. "Talk about harder said than done."
"No one's at the bar, Laura."
"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel better."
"Laura, don't go."
"I have to Luke, because if I don't..." she turned and began to walk.
He ran after her, grabbing her arm, pulling her towards him.
"Just talk to me, tell me what's in your head. Tell me the truth."
"Why? Because that's what you want to hear, you want to hear what I'm thinking, because you think it'll be what you want to hear?"
She tried to pull away from him, but he held her there.
“Please, stay, stay with me tonight."
She looked at him like he'd lost his mind.
"I am not gonna stay here and have a one night stand with you, because I don't want..." she trailed off.
"What, you don't want to be a one night stand, you know you wouldn't be. You never were."
"I don't want..."
She ripped her hands from his and ran. He ran after her, tearing most of her dress off in one rip. Her body was exposed in one stroke, he wasn't exactly trying to that, but he wasn't sorry either that it happened. She fell against the floor, as he landed on top of her, kissing her neck. She reached back and touched his face, turning around, kissing him as he pulled her up, pulling her hair out, stroking it.
It was him she had missed, it was his kiss she'd needed. Tears slid down her face as they kissed. When his lips moved from hers to plant soft kisses all over her, he felt the tears and pulled back. She looked at him, trying very hard to hold back her sobs.
"Laura, don't you cry, don't you cry ever again. Do you want me still? Is that what those tears are for?"
She closed her eyes and more tears fell. He cupped her face, kissing her lips, which made her sob. He smothered her sobs with his lips, hoping to erase the pain. She wrapped her arms around him, and for the first time in months, felt hungry. Not now, Laura, she thought.
"I love you, I love you, I'm sorry, I hate myself for this more than anything else, and I know you hate me, but I want you so much, tell me you want me back."
She sniffed and her eyes were so much brighter. She tilted her head against his hand that was holding it.
"I want to touch you, Laura."
She cringing for a moment in tears, then nodded.
"Touch me then," she whispered. "Touch me."
His hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer to him, his mouth caressing hers. Quickly though, he began to cry. But he continued to kiss her.
"I'm sorry," he cried, kissing her lower lip, then moving to her neck. "I'm so sorry for all the times I hurt you, all the times I scared you. I love you," he said, planting loving kisses all over her face.
His hands reached to her back, undoing the clasp. His hands felt her back, pressing each finger into her soft skin. He felt her hands press against the front of his chest. He surrounded them both with her hair, that hair he loved so much. His hands ran through it, tangling it, and then he gripped her head, forcing her to look up at him. Tears were strolling down his face also, and he smothered his lips with hers.
"I love you," he cried.
She began to cry, wrapping her arms around him weakly. "I love you too. You know that. I love you, you son of a bitch."
She felt his hands pull the bra all the way off of her, as she delicately unbuttoned his shirt. She peeled it off of his body, and pulled him close to her. Well, here they were, making love on the floor of his damn bar. Where had they not made love?
She kissed him, nipping his lips, wrapping her arms more closely around him, feeling his body against hers. She pulled back, turning her head, wondering if this would finally be real, if what she had waited for years to happen, finally might. That he would want her back. He cupped her face and made her look at him.
He pressed and moved himself deliberately against her, separating her lips and moving to envelope her top lip between his before pulling her lower, fuller lip between his own, running the edge of his tongue over it, and ending with a tiny nip.
Luke pulled her up, as if to dance, and just held her, continuing to kiss her. He gently massaged the curves of her waist, and then pulled one of her legs up, around his own waist. She continued running her hands along his chest and shoulders, kissing her neck, then resting her teeth over his shoulder, opening her eyes wide, the world blurry. She had missed this so much. Why had they stopped? Was he right all those years ago when he said that it's never one person who breaks a marriage vow?
He slipped his hands back down to her hips, and lifted her a few inches off the ground, holding her tightly against him. He carried her to the counter of the bar, knocking whatever the hell was on it, off to shatter to the floor, and placed her on it. He gathered her upper body in his strong arms, then kissed her until they were gasping for breath. He bent down and kissed her breasts, suckling her nipples which immediately tightened.
His hands nervously and fiercely reached down to her thighs, caressing them, spreading her legs a little, enough to touch her. She scratched her nails against his back, and grabbed his lips in a deep kiss. He touched her deeply, needing her. She kissed him the way she always did, knowing just what to do. Finally, he slid into her, making love to her.